Sunrise Walks Have Their Benefits

Tension towers retreat into
Fiery gradients of red-orange glow
While crouching houses slumber
Amid the flowing green expanse below

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

My late December medical misadventures had mostly resolved only to be replaced by dental shenanigans. I’ve had some long neglected issues that I put off because they weren’t painful and I didn’t want to fork over hundreds or more likely thousands of dollars for what was mostly just an annoyance.

Whelp, as in the past, once a nerve root gets fully exposed even the most stalwart would likely put pain reduction over pocketbook. I’ve had both a broken tooth and crown (on separate teeth) for several years, but within the last month I had a cavity in my right upper first bicuspid (I think) which revealed itself when a cute little portal opened up in the bottom. Portals can be useful things, especially if they go to magical kingdoms or take you planetside, but they are less desirable in one’s chompers.

I scheduled a dental exam with a new clinic (it was the previous clinic, Monarch, that had soured both my wife and I from going for so long), and at the time time of the exam I wasn’t yet in a great deal of pain. Fast forward to three days ago and the pain started ramping up. It got bad enough that it woke me up at midnight on Thursday/Friday and I contacted the clinic requesting a same day/walk in appointment.

The clinic is normally closed on Friday, and additionally, Dr. Nguyen who performs the root canals is supposed to be on maternity leave, but they were willing to come into the clinic and take care of my problem. The procedure went smoothly and my only discomfort was due to bladder distension (don’t drink the coffee, you’ll soil yourself) (if you know that reference you’re old too). I had essentially no dental or oral pain once I was numbed up.

Once the anesthesia started to wear off yesterday and into last night the pain came back and was almost the same severity although the quality of the pain had changed since the nerve had been removed. Now the pain was spread over several teeth and also affected my mucosa. My face has swollen up to the point it looks like I’ve got a big chew in. I just need to throw on my baseball uniform and commence to spittin’.

Nothing has really touched the pain except for warm compresses and some Orajel cream that I had same-dayed (totes a word) this morning. Unfortunately it only seems to last about an hour when the recommended dosing schedule is 6 hours. Dosing schedule be damned until this pain and swelling start to decline.

I hope the succession of medical to dental chicanery was just random chance and not a sign of a larger problem. Meaning, it’s not typical for me to have big flare ups when I have injuries or illness. The shoulder/chest whatever it was accelerated above and beyond any notable triggers. Maybe there was something there that no one including my various providers or myself have been able to sus out. Maybe my immune system is getting more persnickety as I get older. I hope not.

This dental episode isn’t too removed from previous, although the severity has been higher not to mention the facial swelling which I’ve not had in the past. It was noted that I had a few elevated inflammatory markers during the shoulder/chest extravaganza (ESR, CRP), but these are non-specific and don’t clarify the source. I’m curious if they would be similarly elevated during this dental episode. As often happens, the diagnostic studies raise more questions than they provide answers.

Hopefully this dental shindig will start winding down and I can return to the regularly scheduled programming. It’s ironic because I had made several upgrades and fixed multiple issues in both my video studio and drum rooms, but I’ve been unable to enjoy them fully due to the pain and discomfort.

I should also mention that our girls have been very sweet in noting my discomfort. They are always quick to realize when their humans are distressed or in pain, and they adjust their behavior. Instead of negotiating (begging, harassing, etc.) for treats, walks, or playtime, they typically just lay down somehere near us and give us companionship without bothering us otherwise. Even Nynaeve, who is by far the most insistent for playtime, etc. has been following her sister’s lead and just staying close without asking for anything. Of course Aeyong is perpetually on the spot to give help or comfort when I’m in pain. I mostly deal with it myself, but her willing assistance is always appreciated.

The Cost of Healthcare

A quick addendum to the previous post…I was reviewing my health insurance account and a few of the claims had come through from this event. The hospital stay at Methodist Mansfield (which I assume to be all-inclusive but may not count the ER visit) ran up a bill of ~$33K. In the normal nebulous policy of insurance payouts, Tricare paid them ~$2.5K for the total amount. It looks like we’re on the hook for $73, which again, may be for everything or just the hospital stay. We paid a similar amount for the ER evaluation at Medical City, so who knows?

Suffice it to say that the cost of healthcare in this country is so beyond the pale it’s hard to fathom. We feel very fortunate to not only have medical insurance, but affordable insurance compared to many people. I think our yearly fees are equivalent to what many people pay each month. This was only an acute event and my total hospitalization was only about 36 hours. Granted, there were some expensive diagnostic studies included, but I can only imagine a long-term stay or the cost of a chronic disease with recurrent hospitalizations or expensive interventions.

A New Year and a Health Scare

Things are going fairly well as I type this on January 3rd, 2024. My health decided to close out the year by reminding me I’m not getting any younger. I’ve had this intermittent vague pain and paresthesias mostly in my left arm for years. I think I may have even posted about it several years ago when I had severe elbow and forearm issues that were aggravated by playing various musical instruments. That was more bilateral, but maybe the left was worse.

Fast forward to this last year and I’ve had recurrent mild issues almost solely in the left arm, starting at the shoulder and going all the way to my fingers. It seemed to predominate in a more ulnar distribution, but the entire limb can be affected. I think prolonged less than ergonomic fixed positions at my desk probably aggravated the issue.

On Christmas Eve we decided to drink the champagne that had been reserved for New Year’s Eve and that rolled into several glasses of wine as I had a pleasant evening watching the Police reunion concert and some other music videos. On Christmas Day I was slightly hungover, but not feeling too bad. I had a decent day - did some baking (rolls, cookies, pizza), walked the dogs, and felt better as the day progressed. As of dinner time, I was feeling fine, although maybe my arm had been acting up during the day, I hadn’t noted any change.

Around 6-7 pm, the pain in the arm increased in severity and was affecting the entire limb from the shoulder down. I couldn’t find a comfortable position and was unable to sit still. I got up and walked around, tried to move the arm through various rotations, and even went outside for a few minutes despite the cold. Nothing I could do was helping and the pain was spreading to my chest and then jaw, while also increasing in severity. I’d characterize the normal pain level at an annoying 2 most of the time, but this episode started as a 6 and was climbing towards 8-9.

I think I took some Tylenol and was still unable to sit still and get comfortable. I thought I might lie down and see if I could sleep it off. That aggravated the jaw and now neck pain, and the severity kept increasing. Being a PA, I recalled from my training in ACLS that one of the instructors referred to an acute myocardial infarction as “infarcting” as opposed to infarction. Meaning, the condition progresses if no actions are taken.

I was downstairs (I think to get Tylenol, but can’t remember the exact sequence of events) when Aeyong got up to get the dogs to go outside since they can be recalcitrant when the weather’s cold or rainy. She immediately noted something was wrong and I told her I thought I might need to go to the ER. She shifted to Defcon 1 in two seconds and was donning clothes and scurrying around the house to grab her purse and keys.

She was taking it more seriously than I was, although the fact this was my first ER trip in 29 years wasn’t lost on me. I decided to go to Medical City in Arlington since it had been recommended to us when Aeyong broke her wrist a few years ago. I think that recommendation was more based on the facility being a Level 1 trauma center as opposed to the quality of the ER.

To their credit, when I presented with chest pain they got me back for evaluation within a few minutes, performing an EKG, CXR, and drawing cardiac labs. We were sent back to the waiting room pending the results. I got a look at the EKG while still in the room and it was “abnormal” based on I think t wave inversion, but there was no significant ST elevation or Q waves that I could spot. Honestly, I had a low index of suspicion for cardiac since I still run regularly and although I have some risk factors, I don’t smoke and my blood pressure has been essentially normal during routine exams.

In the ER my BP was high - 162/98, and this trend would persist during most of this episode. We waited in the ER for several hours, although I think at one point one of the nurses came out and told us the cardiac enzymes were normal. This was my main concern, and with normal enzymes, I was relatively reassured that whatever was going on, it wasn’t cardiac. They kept us for six hours or so, primarily so that serial enzymes could be run and these were also normal.

Ironically, my pain was getting worse and was now becoming more diffuse across my chest, neck, and jaw. It stayed on the left side only, never crossing the midline in the chest, but it was bilateral in the neck and jaw area. Medical City did its main job, but other than that, I was underwhelmed. I was evaluated by a PA, and to his credit, he made sure the most life-threatening issue was cleared, but he never asked about my pain level from a therapeutic standpoint, and at the time he gave us the serial results his attitude was “enzymes are normal” as if there was nothing left to discuss. He never asked about whether my symptoms had changed or worsened, and he never offered any therapy or pain management.

In his defense, I didn’t ask or press the issue because I knew the ER wasn’t my PCM and it was 3:30 in the morning and we were ready to go home. The walk out to the car was some of the worst pain I had felt all night and Aeyong was asking me to go back in or to go to some other ER. I was inclined to believe it had to be neuropathic or musculoskeletal and although quite painful, not life-threatening.

We made it home and I think I took some Tylenol while we tried to get a few hours of sleep. I got up around 7ish and was able to book a follow-up with my PCM for the next morning. Throughout the day the pain never got much better so I tried a hot shower (which helped temporarily) and continued with Tylenol. Aeyong suggested her Robaxin which I tried but didn’t notice any difference. I think it was that night that I couldn’t sleep so I took some leftover Hydrocodone from a previous dental procedure. This gave me a good 4ish hours of uninterrupted sleep.

When I saw my PCM, she was concerned that this might still represent an undiagnosed cardiac or pulmonary issue so she recommended that we go across the street to the Mansfield Methodist ER. We followed her advice and were soon whisked in and went through the same initial workup. EKG, CXR, labs. The ER doc also wanted to run some additional inflammatory markers (ESR, CRP) as well as D-Dimer and BNP. Those markers were all elevated although the cardiac exam was still normal.

She then sent me for a CT Pulmonary Angiogram within the ER to rule out pulmonary embolus and this exam was essentially normal except for some nodules (benign) and a trace pleural effusion that was unlikely to be of any clinical concern. She suggested that there could still be underlying cardiac issues that would need a Cardiologist and further diagnostic studies to rule out. She recommended hospital admission to streamline and expedite the process, stating that it could take weeks or longer if pursued as an outpatient.

I was initially hesitant since this was my first ER visit and possible hospitalization since 1994, most importantly, my first since retirement and I was concerned about cost. Aeyong was adamant that I get a thorough workup and not leave questions unanswered. To her eternal credit, she is always going to push for me to get adequate healthcare and evaluation and not leave things to chance. Despite the possibility of a financially devastating hospital bill, I took Aeyong’s and the ER doc’s recommendation and decided to go forward with the admission.

Bed space was precious, so l was admitted to a just-opened room in the OB ward. The room was quite nice, almost more like a hotel with a private bathroom, desk, recliner, couch, and bed. I was kept under observation and offered some pain relief. I tried T3 with codeine which didn’t do much to blunt the pain. The pain had essentially continued but was coming in waves of severity and then settling down for no discernible reason. It seemed to be centered in the left shoulder and at times would shoot back up to a 7 or 8. After midnight the nurse offered pain relief and I said I didn’t want T3 and would prefer just a gram of Tylenol instead. She then said I could get Hydrocodone if I wanted and I related that it had helped at home, so I decided to have it.

Again, the Hydrocodone helped me get about four hours of sleep. I was NPO as of midnight so they could perform the cardiac stress test. I should mention they had given me nitroglycerin in the ER, and I think it helped some with my chest pain, but can’t state that with confidence. The one outcome I’m relatively sure about is that it gave me a headache and this persisted through the day into the evening. In the morning my primary pain was the headache, as the shoulder and chest pain had died down somewhat.

The night before and earlier that morning I was relatively certain I would need the chemical stress test as I would be unable to perform the treadmill stress test due to my headache and other pain. Once I got down to the testing suite in Radiology, my only pain was the headache and I felt capable of at least trying the TMST. I went through with it and was able to complete the test satisfactorily.

We went back to the room and Aeyong got some food so were able to share a brunch so to speak. Periodically throughout my stay, they would check vitals (Q4h I think) and at times of rest they would be more normal, but if I was up and moving around the BP especially would get higher. Thus far, most testing was normal, except for the D-Dimer, ESR, and CRP. These were all elevated, but they’re non-specific so they mostly only raised more questions rather than providing answers.

I eventually had another radiology tech come to my room in the late afternoon to conduct an echocardiogram there at my bedside. A little after 5 my nurse came in with some papers and notified me I had been discharged by the Cardiologist/Hospitalist. They were confident my issue was non-cardiac and didn’t warrant further testing or hospitalization. I agreed with them and had to get Aeyong out of bed back home to come pick me up. She had run herself ragged going back and forth between home to care for the dogs and coming to the hospital to look after me. Her gas tank is much smaller nowadays and she can quickly drive herself to exhaustion and pain when anything disrupts the normal schedule.

I’m now nine days past the initial episode. The shoulder and arm issues persist, albeit much decreased in severity. I have a follow-up pending on Friday with my PCM, Dr. Avenesyan. My working diagnosis is neuritis or radiculitis that flared up for whatever reason and spread to adjacent structures for reasons undetermined at this point. I’ve been able to walk the dogs every day and I even was able to run on the treadmill yesterday, although a bit slower (5 mph) and for only three miles. I made some changes in my office, removing the wheels from the desk so it’s slightly lower and even putting the keyboard in my lap as I type this long-winded explanation.

I’ll see on Friday whether my PCM wants to send me for further studies. I imagine a CT or MRI and possibly a Neuro/Pain Mgmt eval might be in the cards. All this rambling to relate the conclusion that my threshold for health problems is decreasing as the years pass. I had an acute episode of foot swelling this summer that I think was brought on by excessive sodium intake (snacks) as well as alcohol consumption. I hadn’t drunk any alcohol after that episode up until Thanksgiving. That week saw my frustration with Berklee at an all-time high and accelerated my previous holiday plans by nearly a month.

This rolled into drinking beer for about three weeks straight (we went through four cases of beer in that time frame) as well as not exercising or eating particularly healthy for over two weeks. Ironically, I had returned to my normal schedule for over a week and had run on Sunday without any significant issues. I don’t necessarily think the Christmas Eve champagne and wine were the direct cause of the episode, but a repeating theme in the past few years has been that my health isn’t quite as resilient as it was in my younger days.

I can no longer negate the alcohol and unhealthy food choices with exercise. Now, I have to manage my nutrition more closely than ever before. Alcohol and junk food can manifest as poor health outcomes within just a few days as opposed to being inconsequential (in the short-term) in the past. Whenever I drink now, almost every health metric starts to suffer - sleep quality, nutrition, activity level, mood, cognitive function, motivation, etc.

I haven’t sworn off alcohol permanently, but I’m going to need to shift to small amounts over brief periods, for example, a six-pack shared with Aeyong every few months and never the larger amounts consumed over consecutive days. I’m happy that I never became an alcoholic, but it’s easy for it to become more habitual if you’re complacent about it. To bring things back to the start of this novella, complacency is no longer an option when it comes to my health.

As we age, we have to an active role in managing our health or we’ll be forced to continually rely on the aid of others as we watch our health gradually decline. I’ve set a goal for myself that I won’t have any alcohol or junk food (like Doritos) until I get my weight back under 200 pounds. I had got it down under 210 just in November, but I think I probably gained back another 5-10 pounds since then. Hopefully, once I return to regular exercise and a better diet, those pounds will start coming off. I’ve been largely ambivalent about being overweight for a long time, but I’ve got to take a more holistic view because all aspects of my life tend to take their lead from my physical health.

Where I’ve been

It’s been over a year since we lost our dear April. I haven’t retreated from the world (any more than usual), but I’ve had little impetus to post here. I’ve been busy pursuing my various creative disciplines, including guitar, drums, bass, keys, and vocals. I’ve been increasing my focus on the various visual arts to include drawing, 3D environments & modeling, and dabbling in video editing and VFX. I’ve been busy, is what I’m saying.

I’ve been more active on social media with occasional creative posts, but nowhere near the level I need to build a community yet. I’ve mostly finished the Unreal Sensei course on UE5, although he has been updating content that I will revisit. I enrolled in Marc Brunet’s digital art course, a big commitment since I’m not bringing any additional money in now.

On that note, I’ll briefly explain. I’m no longer working with VES. They were bought out by a bigger defense contractor called Maximus last year. Word came down in March-ish that we would no longer be able to have schedule limitations and would need to let them schedule as they pleased.

The big issue with that (which I’m not sure I covered before) is that they have a policy where joint exams are all lumped together as a single worksheet for payment purposes. This means they get 6-7 worksheets for the price of one. As it happens, these are some of the most common claims we get. My experience in the past was that I would have my schedule filled with these types of exams, and the result was that I’d have 15-20 exams but end up getting paid like I did 3-5 exams. I had limited my schedule, so they couldn’t pile these exams on. Once, I decided to try opening my schedule up to get more exams, but I immediately got booked with those joint exams, so I reverted to my old policy. This was fine until Maximus required an open schedule.

At the time, I explained to them why I limited my schedule that way and that going forward, I would just be working less because this payment policy wasn’t sustainable. Why would I spend 8 hours in their clinic with only 1-2 hours’ worth of pay to show for it? I didn’t hear anything back and a month or so went by with no communication. Sometime in April or May, I find myself unable to log in to their system. I asked tech support, and their response was, “we’ll forward your request to the appropriate department.” Which is a very non-tech support kind of response.

I knew something was up. The answer I got (through an intermediary) was that “upper management” had decided for one of the following reasons: Veteran complaint, timeliness of reports, the accuracy of reports, employee/Veteran relations, and/or something else we’re not saying, blah, blah, blah, VES had decided to cut ties with you. I responded that this wasn’t satisfactory, and they could at least give me a specific reason (assuming it was possible it could be one of those reasons, although I didn’t believe so).

All I got back was that it was “schedule related,” but they might consider the matter again if I wanted to change my request. I said I never refused to work under the new policy, only that I would be working less because it wasn’t fair payment. I proposed that if they would alter my contract to pay fairly for the joint exams, I would be willing to work more often. My productivity was established over the past year (especially since I completed two of their travel weeks last year, and those are a slog). The intermediary said he’d forward it.

I had some residual emails from other departments about training and the like, and when I got those, I would cc this intermediary as a way to get updates on my proposal. After several weeks there was no answer, so I quit checking.

Since I have no specifics to go by, I think VES doesn’t tolerate any providers challenging their payment system, whether it’s done professionally or non-adversarial. I’ve never made any demands or ultimatums to them; I’ve only explained my reduced hours and why that policy is unfair, in my opinion. I’ve never been shown the courtesy of a response from management.

VES doesn’t hire providers, which prevents them from needing to provide any of the benefits or protections that a normal employer would be required by law to provide. They never hire you, so they don’t need to fire you; they can just say we’re no longer going to schedule appointments with you.

There was a precedent in my experience, my colleague from the VA fee basis days, Dr. Brooks, had experienced the same scenario, although his occurred within a few months while mine was over a year later. I think he may have been more direct in challenging them, going so far as to try and obtain a copy of their VA contract under the FOI act. I don’t think he ever got it, and not long afterward, he was “fired.”

He had been my collaborating physician, so maybe my dismissal was partly due to guilt by association in their minds, I don’t know. I never got a real answer, but I think I’m right in my thinking. Changing that policy to pay providers fairly would likely result in the loss of hundreds of thousands, if not millions, in revenue for them.

All that to say, I just decided to end it with them. I had never appreciated their culture. Despite all their flowery quotations about caring for Veterans, including those awful self-help and uplifting quote framed photos filling the walls in their clinic, their consistent behavior is that profits are the priority, not the Veteran. I often would have a Veteran who had an issue I could address in the clinic, but VES would never let me add or change the report even though it would likely save the Veteran months of waiting and potentially get them their benefits faster.

All this is anecdotal, but I felt that if there was ever a question of payment, their policy was to refuse the exam and make the VA request it formally to ensure they got their money. Whether it was the right thing to do for the Veteran didn’t matter. The other ongoing issue of frustration with them was their QA policy. They would go over each report and make these small corrections that were irrelevant, but I assume it was to ensure their reports were buffed to such a blinding shine that the VA would never question them and they could maintain their contract. Without their VA contract, they essentially have no business model.

I worked directly for the VA for nine years, and the issues that would be flagged by VES QA personnel never got questioned or challenged by VBA. Never. So, that was an ongoing frustration because they could commandeer your time and make you re-visit a report, and they weren’t going to pay you for it.

How’s that for a short explanation? Lol. Apparently, I still have some feelings about it. Mostly I find it frustrating that not only the VA (considering what happened to all of us fee basis providers) but VES and likely the other contractors truly don’t value hard work and competence and mostly want people who will swallow the corporate Kool-Aid and keep their heads down and their mouths shut.

The outcome is that this scenario has driven me into full-time creative pursuits and will eventually provide a means of income derived from the things I love, not the whims of some crass corporate entity.

In a forthcoming post, I’ll get back to the more important updates about my creative pursuits.

Spring Has Sprung

In Texas, at least. After a slow start, it appears all of our trees, most of our shrubs and the lawn are making a full recovery from Snowmageddon ‘21. Our biggest tree, the one out front which was planted when they built the house, was probably the slowest to sprout buds. For awhile, I had serious concerns that it didn’t make it through the four day hard freeze back in February. Thankfully, it finally began to display some buds and eventually a full complement of leaves to get that good ‘ole photosynthesis jam going. By current estimates, it’s mainly some potted plants that appear to have met their demise. We have a few shrubs that look dead to me, but Aeyong is optimistic that by cutting them down to their base we’ll encourage some new growth from the roots. We’ll see. If they don’t recover, shrubs are easy enough to replace.

In that horticultural vein, I’ve taken a bit more interest in getting the yard in good trim. I apologize, that wasn’t intended as a pun, but now it is, so there. You’re welcome. We haven’t really gone to any great lengths with our yard, other than regular mowing and seasonal fertilization and occasional seeding. The front has remained pretty thick and healthy, but the backyard has some bare patches, including one large swath of dirt in the back corner. I’m going to try de-thatching and scarifying with, you guessed it, our new de-thatcher/scarifier. Hopefully it will clear up a lot of dead grass and leaves and open up the soil to allow more root growth and nutrient/water transfer where it’s needed. Along with that, I’ve got a big bag of Humic DG which is supposed to enhance nutrient absorption and improve soil structure. It’s a bunch of small spherical granules that disperse into the soil, some of which immediately break down into humic and fulvic acid, combining with essential nutrients and persisting in the soil to allow plant absorption for extended periods of time. The humate portion remains even longer, thereby further extending that nutrient cycle.

I’ve seen a few customer testimonials and just Humic DG alone can make a big difference to yards, plants, and larger agricultural applications. My plan is to de-thatch, scarify, mow up the detritus (I have so few opportunities to use that word, so back off), and then lay down probably half the 40 pound bag of Humic. I’ll be seeding and fertilizing in the near future, but I do want to give the yard a little time to recover so I’ll probably wait a few days to a week to do that. Not everyone recommends seeding in the spring, but our bare patches definitely need it. I probably need to get some peat moss to mix with the seed. Although it probably sounds like I’ve gone all 4H (when I was in school it was all farm kids, I’m probably showing my age), but I really just want a nice green lawn that I can maintain. I don’t want to spend a great deal of additional time keeping it in shape. Hopefully some well timed interventions will get it ready for summer.

In other developments, I got my second COVID vaccination last Wednesday, and the side effects were slightly worse, I suppose. The arm soreness was about the same, but I think I felt some more systemic effects this time. It’s a bit hard to tell because the day of the vaccination I also ran (a modified attempt at resumption that was triggered by the broken elliptical) and scalped the lawn. Scalping the lawn (and bagging the clippings) is something that’s useful to do 1-2 times per year based on the advice I’ve seen. It’s somewhat like de-thatching, I suppose. In my yard’s case, it takes considerably more effort to push the mower across high spots in the ground. All that to say, the additional fatigue I felt the day after was probably a combination of the vaccination and the physical efforts of the day before. I also woke up around midnight feeling febrile, but didn’t bother checking my temperature. I just took a gram of Tylenol every six hours for the first day or so and things slowly got better. As I’ve said, eminently better than getting sick with COVID.

Things at work are going well. I’ve worked in the new location the last two weekends, and it’s a nice setting. Essentially the same drive as before with the last two miles being on surface streets. VES has been keeping me gainfully scheduled, one weekend at a time. My no-show rate has dropped a bit, down to only 15% of the last two weekends. I’ve been averaging about $2500 per weekend, which is okay. I’ve been hoping to maintain closer to $3K per weekend, for a monthly total of $12K. Based on how they’ve been filling my schedule (partially) and the no-show rate, I’m not sure that’s achievable with only a two day workweek. At least it’s adequate for our financial goals of paying the house off slightly faster and maintaining a discretionary income. I only want to work enough for those two criteria, as I really value my free time.

Back to homefront matters, Aeyong is recovering fairly well. She had her cast removed the week before last, and she’s jumped back in to her normal routine. Maybe a bit too hard because she’s got some wrist swelling today and will need to rest a bit. She’s been catching up on several things she wanted to accomplish including trimming and bathing all the girls. She also has been out in the yard working, and this weekend she decided to help me out by dusting and cleaning the bathrooms upstairs. That was a nice surprise because it had been nagging me for several weeks and I had been too busy with regular work and work around the house. Still, she’s probably paying for the uptick in activity right now.

I’ve been trying to improve the garage layout the last few weeks to coincide with efforts in the yard. I installed some overhead storage shelves and moved the treadmill and elliptical all the way back against the wall. Not a huge change, but the added floor space has been nice. We took the vertical shelves that were previously on the back wall and moved them into the laundry room, giving us some more storage space in there. We had a little half shelf in the laundry room before, and now that has moved to the garage as a rolling storage cart for our air compressor and shop vac. I’ll eventually install another identical set of overhead shelves in the other garage slot and hopefully free up another section of the floor. Eventually I want to have a rolling workbench with some good working tools - table saw, miter saw, router, and maybe a few other tools depending on how things develop. I’m going to try to ease into woodworking, but I already have all sorts of ideas for projects. I don’t know if it’s just a natural part of aging, or a genetic thing I get from my father. He was definitely a DIYer at his core. Nature, nurture, or perhaps a bit of both?

After all this fairly mundane material, I haven’t stopped pursuing my core disciplines, although there have been more days “off” when I was working at VES or had my time manhandled by DIY, medical, etc. issues. I finished a Premiere Pro course, and I’ve just started a Photoshop course. I also signed up for a basic piano course, mostly to cover some fundamentals that I know I’ve been lacking. I’ve really only slowly learned songs and then just spent my time practicing them, but I haven’t spent any considerable time at learning scales, improvisation and some of the basic skill set I need if I want to advance further. The same could be said for my other disciplines as well. I’m alternating my drumming practice between Mike Michalkow’s course and trying to learn Xanadu for the eventual Rush AFTK deep dive video. Check back next year, probably. Then there’s also bass, guitar, singing, drawing, writing, learning to speak/read/write Korean. Not to mention maintaining my CMEs for work. The days are just packed, and that’s how I like it.

'Supdates

After a tumultuous week in the aftermath of Aeyong’s injury, we finally got into to see her pcm and had the referral submitted right then. The office visit with the orthopedic surgeon was approved by the time we got in our car, and we went and saw him yesterday. We had to go to Harris Hospital in Ft Worth, where I had my right knee surgery back in ‘81ish. I’m not sure how old Harris is, but it’s pretty long in the tooth. As we tried to find our destination, we engaged in some of our age old raving and drooling as we negotiated the turns and twists that every hospital complex seems to build into its infrastructure.

The actual entrance to the Ben Hogan facility (I think it’s mostly sports medicine/ortho) was in a loading dock, I think selected for COVID flow control. We were checked in quickly and everyone rolled pretty smoothly. They shot new x-rays and gave her a new fiberglass splint that’s going to have a shelf life of less than 36 hours methinks. Her surgery was put on the schedule for the next day (today) and we’re heading over to check in at 0630.

Dr. Niacaris seemed nice and professional. He is planning on using a plate to stabilize her fracture and thinks it’s possible she’ll need the plate removed in four to six months, since it’s a little large for her wrist size. He’s not sure, but stated the possibility was higher given that her frame is small. All the medical treatment parts of this process have been pretty good. The USMD ER visit went about as well as it could - they got her in quick, managed her pain, got her sedated and partially reduced, and then got it adequately stabilized for her to get through the week until seen by ortho.

The ortho clinic itself went well - we didn’t wait long to get in and there was no part of the process where we were kept waiting very long for them to complete all their tasks. Interestingly, there was no real pre-op other than the x-rays. I think it’s a function of COVID now that she is getting all her pre-op labs done the morning of the procedure. I assume they want to minimize the number of hospital visits.

It’s a same-day surgery, so hopefully everything will go well and we’ll be back home this afternoon. I assume her pain will be worse for a few days, but hopefully she can start healing properly and I also hope she won’t need an additional surgery a few months down the line.

Progress never waits and I had my first IMO (independent medical opinion) from VES this morning. It’s a case from last month that I had seen, and I was surprised they presented it this way because it means they actually have to pay me for it. When I checked into my VES portal, I also saw they had added a patient for March 13th. I hadn’t told them to resume my schedule, but I think I must have mentioned that weekend as my likely return. That actually works with what I’ve been thinking, so I told them to resume scheduling. This will give us a few more free weekends to get her through the initial recovery stage.

Regardless, I’m only out of the house for about 8 hours on two days, so she should be able to attend to whatever she needs while I’m out. We’ve been engaging in a bit of nail biting and hair pulling while sweating out our Tricare approvals, but so far they’ve gone through okay. We paid our co-pay for the surgery and the lady in billing stated we had $54 left in our deductible. I’m still not sure what that means, because I can’t seen anything in our Tricare self-service portal that reflects that amount.

Outpatient surgeries are supposed to have a $63 deductible, so it’s not immediately clear to me why it’s slightly reduced. We have a catastrophic cap and point of service limit, but our information indicates there’s still plenty of room within those. All that said, the estimated cost of the surgery is $63,000 and we’re paying $54 so far, so it’s completely acceptable. I think that’s just an estimate for typical procedures like hers, we’ll know the actual costs after the fact. We’re very thankful to have good health insurance, we know there are many underinsured or non-insured people who would be financially devastated by an event like this.

Winter Whimperland

Continuing the running commentary del whinage, it’s been one of those weeks. A massive cold front has spread across most of the continental U.S., and when I say most, I mean like 98% or so (based on my highly scientific glance at a map on a weather site). With the cold came snow and ice, and in a fit of wintry novelty, I coaxed Aeyong into coming outside to check out the lovely white expanse.

Bad choice. In an uncharacteristic spree of high spirits, Aeyong decided to ski down the driveway and made it about a foot before disaster set in. I think she only made it to the first e of “Whee!” before her feet were launched skyward. Gravity is a harsh mistress and wasn’t offering any soft landings on the frozen driveway. I thought she landed directly on her tailbone, but it was her right wrist that bore most of the force of impact. And, in a contest between bone and frozen concrete, the latter almost always wins.

She sustained a comminuted, intra-articular, angulated and displaced distal radius fracture. In medical terms, we refer to that as “F&*# Me!” As I told her, she wasn’t fucking around. This is her first broken bone in her life as far as she remembers. If you wait until your mid-fifties to break your first bone, you should do it in style, you know the old saying. We both have now sustained orthopedic surgery inducing fractures, just in case anyone thinks we don’t go full throttle when the time is at hand.

The irony is that the rare cold front with snow/ice included that caused the injury in the first place has also shutdown most of our infrastructure, making medical follow up all the more complicated. We were fortunate enough to be able to get her all-wheel drive Toyota out and make it to the nearest ER in Arlington. We’ve subsequently learned that just another few blocks down the street is a Level II trauma center, which would have been the preferable place to go. Lesson learned. Although I’m still practicing medicine in the fringes of disability, local hospital and medical center infrastructure hasn’t been something I’ve investigated very thoroughly. I always kind of tangentially knew there was a medical center/hospital with an ER right there on the highway and down the street from our PCM, so that was always the default ER location we’d attempt first if it was beyond an acute/urgent care type visit.

Now we know to go a little further down the street if it’s trauma or more likely to require the services of a specialist. We don’t routinely need to avail ourselves of medical care in general (not counting prescription refills which are mostly remotely automated), so these aren’t issues we have a great deal of experience with in the recent past.

To add insult to extremity trauma, the infrastructure shutdown has carried across all sectors, so we couldn’t reach anyone to arrange follow up yesterday. I left messages on our primary care doctor’s site and the ER doctor had recommended several orthopedic surgeons, most of whom wouldn’t accept our insurance. Thankfully, one of them was part of our PCMs group and does accept our insurance. Their appointments department called me at the end of the day yesterday, and we’re in the process of coordinating a follow up appointment not with that doctor, but with the groups hand/wrist specialist.

Hopefully the doctor and his clinic will be open for business and we’ll be able to navigate the streets across town. The temperature hasn’t risen above freezing for a few days and that’s going to last a few more days before it slowly starts crawling back upwards. Right now it’s a sweltering 1°, and that’s Fahrenheit. But hey, no wind to speak of! We’ve had at least one set of pipes freeze for an upstairs bathroom sink that’s on the outside wall. Once I noticed, I went around and set all the other sinks to drip, but this one doesn’t seem to be budging. I really hope we don’t get burst pipes out of this, just to add onto all the other fun.

Because of the need for me to look after Aeyong, I requested VES to cancel all of my upcoming schedule until we get a better idea of her upcoming treatment schedule. Surgery will be a definite necessity and then there will likely be a great deal of physical therapy in her future. Hopefully most of that will be during the week, so I’ll eventually be able to return to work, but I imagine it’ll be several weeks before we’re on the other side of things.

I’m sure I’ve expressed my religious beliefs (lack of) here before, but I do like some of the wisdom found in tomes spiritual. “God laughs while you’re making plans.” This could also be expressed as “Life is what happens while you’re making plans.” We’ve had a year chock full of life happening in direct defiance of all our plans and expectations. COVID-19, layoff and eventual termination of my work with the VA, all the nail biting and teeth gnashing related to the state of politics and governance in this country, etc.

It’s not all bad, though. As I’ve said before, we’re among the fortunate in that we have a steady retirement income, a good home, and we haven’t truly suffered any deprivation this whole time. This injury has been the most devastating medical event in several years time, and it will be rough going for Aeyong for weeks and months to come, but we’re both still standing and we’ll come out this intact I’m sure.

The urge to dip into our retirement savings has reared it’s ugly head yet again, especially considering the prospect of not wanting to work for several weeks and wanting to maintain a positive cash flow. We’re not at a point that we need to make that decision just yet, though. Financially, this should hopefully just be a temporary setback while we get Aeyong healed and I can eventually get back to work and get some cash flow restored.

Nut Kickin'

In retrospect, I imagine this post will come across as first world bellyaching, but this is one of my preferred venting venues, so there.

I’ve been working for VES for over a month now, and as time passes I question how sustainable it will be. They show all the marks of a bureaucracy like the VA, but without most of the incentives. Working as fee basis for the VA, we had a very fair payment structure, a decent clinic and network infrastructure, and a mostly autonomous working environment including how we got paid. VES has built up an administrative behemoth for reasons not fully understood, and every exam is often beset by multiple follow up questions that can add as much time as it took to complete the exam in the first place. This might be tenable if the pay structure was adequate, but it’s averaging around half that of fee basis at best. The frustrating thing about the incessant follow ups (QA addendums) is that they’re mostly irrelevant questions that VBA has never cared about in my personal course of completing nearly 15,000 exams. Regardless, VES will insist that these are due to “VA policies” and “VA preferences”, when I’m pretty sure this is entirely made up or at least based on some subjective request from VBA that isn’t based in any sort of regulation or guidance.

An example from just yesterday - I had a case that involved a Veteran with a long history of knee surgeries that ultimately culminated in a knee replacement last year. When I entered in the diagnoses, I still included the past history, some of which he was already specifically connected for. I get a QA addendum because they wanted me to only put the knee replacement as his diagnosis, and remove all the other diagnoses. This isn’t how we document in medicine. A knee replacement doesn’t wipe the slate clean and eliminate the previous history. Not to mention that some of his issues were extra-articular and weren’t involved in the knee replacement. What this admin person didn’t understand is that “knee replacement” doesn’t mean you get a brand new knee and start over. It’s an artificial knee that will wear out and in some cases, the surgical outcome is no better and maybe even worse than before.

This is the typical run-around I get on probably at least half of my exams. Another point of frustration is that they hold us to a 48 hour window to complete exams, but I still have unprocessed work from two months ago, and they have failed to process several exams in time for our payday, so they get held over until the next pay period. Do as we say, not as we do.

Contiguous with this I have been having my recurring OS overhaul, triggered by random untraceable events. This seems to happen with me and OSX every year or two, where the only way I can get things functioning is to wipe the slate clean and start anew. Another major point of frustration is that Backblaze, who I’ve been using for several years, sent me a recovery drive for my OS disk, but the copy speeds are so slow, it’s going to take 3-4 weeks to copy around 1.5 terabytes. I’m at the point of just scrapping the restore process and falling back on time machine.

I’m also recently made a major switch in my studio setup, by swapping places between the video and craft rooms. The big drafting/craft desk moved into the closet and the bed from the craft room is now in what amounts to a basic guest room with TV. Ultimately, this will be a superior setup, but there are a lot of growing pains in the process. I’m trying to back into video recording with a plan to jump headfirst into a YouTube channel with the hope I can build enough quality content that I would earn a subscriber base leading to some passive income, even if a modest amount. We don’t need a great deal of additional money to keep us comfortable, and one major lesson of COVID is that I don’t want to depend on any corporate or bureaucratic structure for my livelihood.

All these events sort of running concurrently has felt like a kick in the nuts, figuratively speaking. I’m spending more time keeping things from burning down and it distracts me from working on my disciplines. I have renewed my efforts to study and improve my video editing and post processing, but right now I’m just trying to get things running normally, so it’s a bit frustrating. …and the microwave died. And a few other things that aren’t coming to mind right at the moment. Wahh Wahh.

Still, we have a home, the utilities are paid, we have food to eat, the dogs, Aeyoung and I are relatively healthy and not really wanting for anything critical. Like I said, first world problems…

2020 was a year

So much of the focus of this past year has been on the negative, overwhelmingly centered on the Coronavirus Pandemic and all of its effects. For me, the most unfortunate aspect was just how inadequate and irresponsible were the reactions of individuals, leaders, and governments. There was no escaping the impact that such a new and deadly virus was going to have on society, but the devastation could have been mitigated to a greater degree, and the loss of life, jobs, and social safety nets could have been greatly minimized.

An analysis of this fallout must include the myriad of consequences. I was, like many others, personally affected when I lost my primary means of income shortly after the pandemic made its full effect known in the US. Arguably the single most devastating acute change I’ve experienced in my adult life, at least from an economic standpoint. Thankfully, my choice to make the Army a career and the pension resulting from that became our primary safety net and kept us in good stead for the lean times to come. Even with this, it wasn’t permanently sustainable.

A result of the layoff (and ultimate termination) was a blank canvas upon which to fill each day. As I’ve discussed before, although I never succumbed to depression or an emotional breakdown, there was definitely a mild funk that persisted for several months. It ultimately was a lack of direction stemming from all the uncertainty. I long ago realized that I must have a target for which I’m aiming, whether it’s creative, financial, professional, etc. The loss of income put so many goals in doubt that it became difficult to focus my efforts.

I didn’t let it keep me from my core disciplines and I continued to practice guitar and drums. I can’t specifically recall what my typical days were like back then, although I started to spend more time playing video games and other sorts of passive activities as I’ve previously discussed. Prior to the pandemic I had renewed my efforts to learn writing, drawing, and studying the Korean language. These fell by the wayside for several months as I had problems finding the motivation to keep all these disciplines going.

Eventually, I think near late summer or early fall, the slow re-opening of medical care and society in general started to hint at better days to come. This slowly helped renew my desire to restart these pursuits and I’ve settled back into a routine encompassing all my disciplines - guitar, drums, keys, bass, vocals, writing, drawing, and studying Korean. I’m still trying to sort out the optimal battle rhythm since I only recently returned to work and that’s been a big shift from the previous eight months.

All this rambling to say that despite the negative consequences of last year, it hasn’t been all doom and gloom. The challenge of the virus was met with an unprecedented effort to develop a vaccine and in an achievement that I would compare to the Apollo Space Program for its audacity and technical wizardry, several companies developed not only viable, but highly effective versions of a vaccine, several of which were using mRna, a complete paradigm shift in vaccinations. Sadly, our current administration is screwing up the rollout, but I’m not sure anyone expected anything else.

The good news is that here in the US we elected a new president/vp and in a few weeks, we’ll usher in a new era and a return to normalcy, at least in the executive branch. Another positive change has been the demonstration that remote work and learning is not only viable, it’s likely a superior alternative to many traditional processes in business and education. Why should we make people drive day in and day out to an office or classroom when they could achieve the same goals and processes from their homes? There will always be industries and jobs that can’t be done remotely, but we’ve definitely shifted the focus more in the last year than we might have in ten years pre-pandemic.

The most important lesson I’ve learned is that we’re not really that far removed from being able to sustain our lifestyle without me working at all. I don’t plan on fully retiring anytime soon (if ever), but I know now that within a few years and having achieved a few economic milestones, we can sustain a fully retired lifestyle indefinitely. I’ll likely always want to work a little bit for discretionary income purposes, but now we have a better idea of how life would look with no additional income.

Reflecting on this, I’m grateful. I’m grateful for the life we’ve been able to carve out after many decades of hard work. We didn’t suffer or feel deprived in the least, and I know there are millions if not billions of people who had a much harder time of this last year, and in many cases have always had a harder time of it. The biggest burden on us was mild anxiety about our economic future and whether we’d be able to endure additional economic hardships beyond the loss of work. Thankfully, that was the worst of it as we managed to make it through without any big disasters.

I should also take the time to mention that we lost some of my all time most important musical influences this year, ironically not due to the pandemic but to other health issues, I think cancer in all three cases. Early this year in January we lost Neil Peart, arguably as big of an influence on me as any other musician, especially considering his lyrics and prose. Not long after, we lost the brilliant musician and composer, Lyle Mays, the longtime musical partner of Pat Metheny and an amazing artist in his own right. He brought so much joy and wonder to so many people over the years. Finally, in October the world of rock and guitar specifically lost a man who arguably had a bigger influence than any other in history, Eddie Van Halen. It’s impossible to calculate just how important and far reaching Eddie’s influence has been on rock guitar. Often cited for his revolutionary approach to tapping and soloing, it’s his rhythm, riffs, and songwriting that are probably the most important elements of his style. Losing these three greats was just another kick in the gut to add to the misery of this year.

Thankfully, the year ended on a high note as I finally was able to return to work, albeit for a different employer. The eventual dismissal from the VA, my employer for the last nine years, was handled pretty callously and lacking in respect from the leadership in my former clinic, but I suppose I was a bit naive in assuming the best about certain people. It’s in the past now. As part of that scenario, the work seems to have mostly shifted to the contractors, so that’s where I followed it and now find myself working for one of them. I never predicted anything as universally devastating as a pandemic, but my belief that there would always be work for disability examiners has been proven true thus far.

My goals for this year are largely consistent with what they’ve always been. I want to continue improving my craft at the various disciplines, ultimately in the service of storytelling in various mediums. I am hoping in the near term to finally record and submit that audition for the guitar program at Berklee and hopefully begin a dual major track starting with the spring semester in a few months. I’ll have to adapt my battle rhythm yet again, but I suppose that’s always going to be a more fluid aspect of my daily efforts.

I hope this year has helped distill what’s most important in everyone’s lives, I think it has in mine.

I'm back, batches...

I think I must have finally jumped through all the necessary hoops to return to gainful employment. I got a late afternoon email yesterday for some training videos on the the VES site. I watched those this morning (about 60 minutes worth) and notified the sender they were completed. A few hours later I got a response on an earlier schedule question and was given a training day of 12/10 with my first patients for that coming weekend.

After confirming I could work those days, I quickly received a follow up asking if I could work the following weekend as well. It might be partially due to the scarcity of weekend slots as well as the upcoming holiday, but they seemed motivated to schedule. I told them I was available for every weekend through the end of January, so we’ll see what happens.

If I’m able to maintain a full schedule, my previous prediction should hold true - clearing $5Kish a month. This should keep us in good financial stead, and hopefully we’ll have that cash reserve where we want it in 9-12 months. After that the accelerated mortgage payoff will ensue, and hopefully within 2-3 years we’ll finally be completely debt free (we’ve not carried any consumer debt besides the mortgage for years) and in a much better position to deal with any future layoffs.

It feels nice to finally have some work on the upcoming schedule. In a fit of high spirits, I paid off the remainder of the health insurance bill for next year and the current auto insurance premium. I normally pay these off in one lump sum as soon as I receive them, but due to the COVID layoff I was paying them out in installments. I prefer the fire and forget approach to bill payment.

I don’t have any large discretionary purchases on the immediate horizon, but it’s nice to know that any necessities will be easily dealt with and any reasonable discretionary expenses don’t need to go through a rigorous vetting process. I told Aeyong we could send some more money to her mother once we got our first check. We’ve been sending her the occasional chunk of money every six months or so and it’s been used to take care of her utilities and other essentials. We weren’t in a position to send any money while I was laid off, but this is something we can and should afford now that I’ll be working again.

Now, about that marzipan Yoda…

Three days later and still no answer on the election, but a bombshell at work...

The election still hasn’t been decided, with several states still counting ballots and the necessary 270 electoral votes not yet attained by either candidate. That said, former Vice President Joe Biden is sitting in a better position with 253 called electoral votes to 214 for President Trump, and by appearances, he’s doing well enough in a few of the remaining states to push him over the top. To no one’s surprise, the incumbent has been crying foul since election night and has been trying to claim victory multiple times. I won’t describe it any further, it’s being heavily covered by the media and will be well documented in the historical records I’m sure.

Just to add a bit of spice to our lives, I was following up on my credentials packet renewal at work when the clinic chief responded to an email saying that my credentials didn’t need renewal because fee-basis providers weren’t going to be used by C&P going forward. That was it. Abrupt, and with little explanation or attempt to soften the blow. The other people I’ve talked to share my opinion that this isn’t permanent, but it’s hard to predict at this point how long it will last. It was out of character for this person, although I’ve had little interaction with him so I don’t have a great deal of basis to judge how he handled it. I do consider it a failure of leadership to not have informed all the affected fee basis providers as a group.

I’ll probably pursue work with one of the contractors in the interim depending on how this plays out. I was already assuming it would be months or longer before there was any resumption of normal work, so this isn’t beyond the realm of what thought possible. That said, the manner in which the message was delivered strikes a hit against my long term loyalty to the C&P clinic and its leadership. It doesn’t seem that all the years of hard work and the thousands of exams really amounted to much, at least in the eyes of the current leadership.

Ten Years Gone

As of today, I have been officially retired from the Army for ten years. It’s been a fairly busy period of time and given a fair accounting, overwhelmingly positive on a personal level, if not in the national and international scope of things. I spent the first six and a half years or so continuing to work full time, and then switched to fee basis/part-time work about three and a half years ago. Despite the pandemic and forced layoff, I still think that decision was the right one to make. The three years of earning double for half the time made significant progress towards paying off our home and reaching our long term financial goals.

We haven’t neared the finish line as closely as planned for this point in time, but we still hold out hope that this temporary setback will eventually just be a historical footnote. I can say that there have been positive discoveries made in the context of the layoff. It’s not a big change to our philosophy, but we’ve learned to further appreciate the value of financial stability. Also, dialing back the continuous consumption has had little negative affect and it’s made me realize just how much fulfillment is available in what we already have. In a peripherally related issue, getting away from essentially all social media (FB, twitter, instagram) has had little downside in my estimation. Those mediums could offer occasional (and very temporary) entertainment, but they never offered anything of lasting value. And here lately, the constant daily onslaught of misery and controversy (especially twitter) just began to wear me down. I don’t miss it a bit.

We’ve learned how adequate (or not) our pure retirement income is against the cost of living. At present it’s a bit short, although as said before, some real belt-tightening might allow us to correct the course. The additional money from paying off the mortgage will make staying in the black a bit easier. Even at present, just a couple full days of clinic would be enough to keep that monthly ledger positive, so hopefully, in the not too distant future, I might get a little trickle of work to set the ship level.

On the creative side of things, in some areas, it’s felt like very incremental progress, but progress nonetheless. I should mention the considerable time I’ve spent at Berklee which has been a great boon to my artistic development, although I’m on an extended break at present. I still plan to return, but I want to shift my focus to guitar and I’m still slowly working towards what I consider a satisfactory audition. I have until 2025 to use my GI Bill benefits, and since I’ve already used around 75% of them, I should still be on track.

I’m not sure I’m where I would have wished to be on guitar and piano especially, but I can say that I didn’t necessarily expect I would have started on drums, bass, vocals, and songwriting as well. I also wouldn’t have thought my pursuits would turn towards writing and drawing, much less resuming my long procrastinated study of Korean. Things continue to inch forward a day at a time, but that they inch forward is the point. I’m happy with where I’m going (and maybe not totally unhappy with where I’m at creatively, either) and I still wake up every day looking forward to the work ahead.

The family is doing okay, as well as could be expected I suppose. We’re not any younger, but we’re holding in there I think. Ironically, our lifestyle was already suited to the pandemic since we’re homebodies with no social circles to speak of. The only inconvenience for us was delaying some routine medical care, concerts, and being more judicious about trips to the store. Otherwise, it’s situation normal here in the Hightower holdfast. We said goodbye to our sweet girls Lucy and Bridget, and still miss them all the time. We already had Arya by the time I retired and not long after we said goodbye to Bridget five years ago we added Skittles to our pack. A chihuahua mix, she’s the princess in the house and gets the lion’s share of the attention, although we don’t fail to shower our other two girls with affection.

My hopes for the future are largely unchanged. I want to continue working on my creative pursuits every day. I still hope that at some point I’ll spend more time in a purely creative headspace instead of practicing and developing my technique, but I expect that will always be part of the daily rituals. I hope to at least reach a level of competency (on the drums especially) where I can perform and record the sort of music I hear in my head. I’m closer to that on guitar, but there’s still a ways to go. Eventually, my goal is to combine the various disciplines of music, words, and art into cohesive works that tell compelling stories. I’ll get there, even if it takes a long time. I feel like this period of my life is when I can really create the works I have always needed to make. I don’t regret any part of my life, but it would be untrue to characterize my military service or medicine as my calling. These have been challenging and at times rewarding endeavors, but my creative efforts are where my true self lives.

As long as it’s available and I’m able, I’ll probably continue to earn an income to keep us afloat first and foremost, but also to have a comfortable discretionary budget for the quality of life expenses. As probably stated before, I hope we can get back on track and build our cash reserves back up and then pay the rest of the mortgage off. At that point, one decent shift a week would keep us pretty comfortable, methinks.

Looking ahead, it’s hard to surmise where we might be in ten years. I’ll be sixty-three, just having become eligible for my VA retirement (paltry as that may be) and about four years away from social security (if that hasn’t been stolen by then). I assume we’ll have the house fully paid off, and I’d say the odds are we’ll still be right here although might change as well. My main goal with writing is to continue to improve and just create some compelling stories. It would be the proverbial icing on the cake if that would ever reach a level of quality that someone would be willing to publish it. It would be a second cake with sprinkles on the icing to ever derive any sort of income from it. Still, I have to acknowledge that it is actually a goal. Musically, maybe I’ll actually be able to play those milestone songs (you know who you are) by then. A man can dream…

It's been a bit...

…since the last update and a few things have changed. I’ve resumed pursuit of my seven (eight?) disciplines, including a resumption of writing and drawing. I’ve started to settle into a six day workweek so to speak. I practice drums, vocals, acoustic guitar, drawing and writing on M-W-F, and on T-Th-Sa I practice drums, keys, elec guitar, bass, drawing, and writing. I also started studying Korean again but decided to go back to the very beginning of the Pimsleur lessons. I do this in conjunction with my elliptical workouts, which are every day at present. (goldarned knee doncha know) I consider Sunday my day off, although I tend to get in some more writing and drawing that day as well. It’s open for me to completely fuck off if I want to.

Getting back into writing has been good so far, although I’ve yet to really engage in any “proper” writing. It’s been comprised of administrative and transcription tasks. I finally got all the bookmarked (booktaped?) notes from Judith Flander’s Victorian Home book, including several additional pages of notes that seemed useful as I went through it. I need to do that for Life in a Medieval Town as well. In the process, it became more apparent that my Scrivener organization system was lacking. I started the process today of trying to categorize research and story components into a more understandable and efficient system.

Ideas keep coming for the story and I continue to follow the practice of just dictating these into my notes app on the phone, but now I need to start filing these ideas in the appropriate areas and then doing the actual follow up work, whether it’s crafting a scene, conducting more research, etc. I feel like I already have the bones of a compelling story, but the real work still lies ahead. I plan to approach this methodically with concurrent study in my various writing courses as well as reading both nonfiction and fiction that will support the work. I’m planning on trying Brian Lee Durfee’s approach of choosing several books by authors whose style I want to at least partially draw from in the work. His systematic analysis of their techniques is an interesting approach, and although I’m not sure how well it will work for me, my analytical brain finds favor with it. I’ll be taking a look at their typical chapter layouts, dialogue length and positioning within a page/chapter, character introductions, exposition, etc.

I haven’t decided on the authors yet, although I’m likely to pick two of his - Robert Jordan and George R.R. Martin. I want to pick at least one Victorian-era novel, whether Brontë, Dickens, Doyle, etc. I also want to pick at least one of the authors whose humor I’ve enjoyed - Harry Harrison’s Stainless Steel Rat, Douglas Adams, Scott Lynch, Terry Pratchett, etc. I wouldn’t want humor to overpower the tone, but I definitely love the stories that include at least a dash of levity.

And in today’s “critical for world peace” update, I managed to snag a pre-order for the new Xbox Series X console. Akin to the oh so pleasurable concert ticket buying experience, I bounced around multiple websites across multiple devices and had a false start on my phone where I got to address confirmation only to be told they couldn’t ship to my country (US). Thankfully, that incomplete order remained in my shopping cart on the MS store, and I was able to complete the transaction on my desktop about thirty minutes into the pre-sale. Based on early comments online, there are a lot of dissatisfied customers unable to get through, although as per usual, this doesn’t necessarily reflect a representative sample of customers.

After MS announced their purchase of ZeniMax Media (including Bethesda, id, and several others) I was planning on trying to buy MS’s subscription plan where you get the console and the game pass for $35 a month over two years. With the addition of Bethesda (Elder Scrolls, Fallout), id (Doom), and the others, that means several more of my favorite games would be available. As it is, I’ll probably wait until I’ve finally cleared out that games backlog before I consider subscribing. My two most anticipated games for the near future (Baldur’s Gate 3, Cyberpunk 2077) won’t be available on all access anytime soon regardless. I assume BG is PC exclusive at least at first and that would be my preferred version, CP might actually be more enjoyable in the home theater. I definitely enjoyed Witcher 3 in that manner.

Back to the Infrequent...

…updates I suppose. Nothing monumental has happened in the past month. There has been slow progress on the work front. I’m not sure if it was within the last month that the director sent an email stating that VANTHCS would return to full operations with incremental steps for routine face to face encounters with a planned 100% restoration of services by October 6th. I’m not tracking the play by play, but it seems they’re on schedule at this point.

All that said, that doesn’t mean fee-basis will be needed in C&P in that same timeframe. Our department chief and program analyst had sent emails to the FTEs notifying them that face to face examinations would resume so they would be back in the clinic full time in the upcoming weeks. I responded to this email saying I knew that didn’t mean fee basis would be needed for quite a long time and they essentially confirmed this and expressed appreciation for my patience.

The unknown factors here are whether they will be able to stick to the plan and how quickly there will be a resumption of the normal flow of exam requests from VBA. Until they start getting a normal flow that exceeds the FTEs capability, it’s not likely we’ll see any request for fee-basis exams. My feeling for a long time (and probably expressed here previously) was the end of the year at best, and Dr. Potu (Chief of Ambulatory Care) had already expressed this timeframe as well. If anything, I could see them asking us to help out during the holidays as there’s always a shortage of providers since everyone wants to go on vacation, although it’s hard to say how that will be affected by COVID. If travel remains sketchy, those leave requests may drop off quite a bit.

I still think it will be well into next year before we can expect a resumption of full activities and fee basis numbers reaching anything near where they were at their peak. I hope I’m wrong, and I don’t necessarily need the desired workload to make a difference in our budget. One good day a month would be enough to put our monthly ledger in the black, and two days would make things comfortable. This wouldn’t facilitate the faster mortgage payoff schedule, but at least it would allow us to slowly accrue some cash reserves and give us some breathing room. My hope is we can get back at least to my normal salary limit, which would allow faster mortgage payoff, although it might take 2-3 years instead of the planned 12 months we were previously on track to achieve.

In other developments, I’ve started studying Korean and drawing again in the past week. I decided to go back to the beginning in Korean, and I’m still trying to figure out my battle rhythm with drawing. I had been bouncing around several different instruction programs and I’m starting to think I need to pick one and just stick with it through completion before moving on to the next thing. I have multiple training programs I plan to complete as I go along. Notice I didn’t mention writing. I still plan to start writing again, I’m just looking for the right window and motivation.

Although it’s incremental and often hard to quantify, I feel there has been progress in my musicianship, mainly drums, guitar, and keys. The downpicking drill based on Tommy Emmanuel’s fast run from Endless Road is definitely paying off, albeit slowly. Drumming has felt slower, but my added focus on kick pedal is slowly reaping rewards. I started alternating drill days with song days where I just play songs so I can apply some of these techniques, and I think that’s helping. Many of the drills I practice are isolated and don’t prepare you for the application within a song where all the other limbs are involved.

I need to start practicing bass again and my vocal drills have been functional but not really stretching my capabilities and I need to start singing some actual songs again. I’m not necessarily happy there was a drop off in some disciplines in light of the mild COVID funk, but I can understand it, and at least I kept applying my most primary disciplines. Not to mention, that game backlog has continued to shrink, so there’s that.

I just finished Divinity Original Sin 2 yesterday, and I’ll probably finish off Horizon Zero Dawn next and then I’ve got to decide what to tackle after that. I’m thinking Demon Souls although I realized today I might not be able to play that or Fallout 3 on my PS4, at least using the disc-based versions I own. I think there are versions if you have a subscription to Playstation Now, so I might look into that option.

Life is pretty good, all things considered. I’m not happy losing a significant chunk of earning potential, but we’ve managed to stay afloat for several months and with a few more adjustments to the discretionary expenses we could probably do it indefinitely. I’ve gotten into more cooking with the time off but the downside is that my waistline has grown with my cooking skills. It doesn’t help that I’m having a flare-up with my right knee again and I’m unable to run.

To add insult to injury, I had been trying to reintroduce push-ups and situps to my regimen so I could recover some muscle mass and stave off another ravage of aging. As luck would have it, I strained something in my lower abdomen and I’m hoping it’s just a delicate atrophied muscle and not a hernia waiting to happen. Location wise it could totally be an inguinal hernia. I’m not sure but I think it’s the same side in which I had hernia surgery as an infant and I doubt they used mesh back then. I’m hoping it’s just a muscle strain and I can resume activity in the coming weeks. One of the greatest frustrations of aging (besides becoming progressively more gray and squishy) is that your body starts to betray you and things that you are mentally and psychologically ready to do become difficult to impossible due to injury and declining function. Still, it could be a lot worse.

Speaking of, I’m essentially done with social media. After shutting down FB completely (two times now, most recently in June) I went ahead and pulled the trigger on twitter and Instagram as well. This was another decision based on the sum total effect of interaction and they both are responsible for bringing a lot of negativity that I can’t control. My political leanings are progressive and liberal and I’ll continue to support those candidates and causes, but I just can’t tolerate the day to day social media drama any longer. Every day is a new deplorable act, quite often by the nominal leader of the country and it’s easy to despair. I’m not sure the US as a country can recover from the damage it has sustained (and not just in the past four years), and although I make my best efforts to contribute, there seems to be no shortage of people who are willfully ignorant, obtuse, and have no regard or empathy for their fellow human beings. I hope we can overcome the hatred, greed, and racism running rife at present, but I have my doubts. I don’t endorse much that the catholic church says, but they got the seven deadly sins right.

A Decent Week

Among the “highlights” - had my VA PIV card renewed for the fourth time, so I’m good for another three years, and this marks my nine-year anniversary (albeit a month early) with VANTHCS. Ironic that I mark the occasion while being laid off at present. I’m remaining optimistic that I’ll eventually be able to return to work and continue pushing forward to our midterm financial goals and then settle into what will hopefully be the indefinite future work schedule of one to two days a week for a total of four to eight days a month. After the mortgage is paid off, this should keep us comfortably in the black with a generous discretionary income.

Yesterday marked my fifty-third trip around the sun, shared with a few musical heroes including Kate Bush and Geddy Lee the day before. I cooked some enchiladas that turned out better than the first attempt last week. I decided to forego homemade tortillas and enchilada sauce this time, and used steak meat instead of pork. I was much more satisfied with the result. Some sprinkled avocado and lettuce on top helped complete the effect. The tortillas and enchilada sauce are easy to make, but they add extra time and I honestly didn’t think the recipe suffered using the premade. Later today I’m going to make a belated birthday cake, trying my hand at red velvet this time.

My birthday was one of those mornings where I had gone to bed early and then awoke around 2 am, unable to get back to sleep, and ultimately surrendered and got up. I decided to make some effective use of my time by attempting the texturing step of my very drawn out drywall repair project. Not a resounding success because I don’t think the pattern I laid down was exactly right for the existing knockdown texture from the home builder. It looks better than smooth drywall mud, although there were a few spots where I did get some flat effects that I didn’t want. Being that the repairs are on the garage wall and the back corner/closet of my drum room, I’m probably going to accept them as is and paint over them.

The result will not be professional to the extent that you can’t tell there was every a patch there, but I think they’ll fly for now. We’re not planning on ever selling the house now, so the only people it would bother would be me and Aeyong. She hasn’t uttered a word so far, so I’m thinking she won’t really care. I’ll get her feedback once it’s done. If she absolutely hates it I might try a bottle of the spray-on texture, which I think might make the process a bit easier.

I have several more DIY projects in mind, including a few more steps in the whole house network project, and then I’ve got some ideas to improve our storage and tool organization in the garage. This will be time and bank balance dependent. Much later on and contingent on a return to work I have plans for expanding the home theater to Dolby Atmos (arguably overkill, but still), making some further upgrades to the home network including a proper server, power over ethernet, and upgrading to a 10gigabit switcher. None of this is essential, and definitely in the discretionary category.

I should probably also mention that during this increased period of DIY activity, I’ve taken an unplanned break from practicing. It started based on although the clutter and mess in the drum room but continued based on the shift of my daily energies to multiple tasks that ultimately sapped the energy I desire to effectively practice. It’s only temporary, and after having taken breaks in the past (mostly to heal from repetitive strain issues), I know that there’s a value in stepping away for a bit. Once I get this current DIY project behind me, I’ll get back into my normal schedule. I’m close at present, but there’s still some painting, finishing touches, and decluttering ahead.

The Retirement Mindset

This will be a brief discussion as I’m not sure what that means, and I’m not currently planning on shifting to the retirement mindset anytime soon. My long term plan has always been to pay off the mortgage and remain debt-free before we think about a self-sustaining income/lifestyle. Due to the COVID-19 layoff, we’ve been granted the opportunity to explore those realities sooner than planned.

Thus far, it seems that if we decided to really buckle down and eliminate most if not all discretionary spending, then we’re already capable of living on my pensions alone. Notice the plural. The pension I draw due to my service-connected disabilities has been a key source of income now that I’m not earning any sort of a normal salary. We, fortunately, had a bit of an emergency fund, just because our checking balance had built up to a decent level by the time of the layoff. That balance has been slowly dropping, but there’s also been a great deal of arguably discretionary spending as mentioned in the last post.

We’re going to try and cut way down on that for the next few months and see if we can get that balance crawling back upwards. At our present payoff level (essentially the minimum), our mortgage should be paid off in about five and a half years. We had been paying it off at about three and a half times the required amount for the three years since I switched to fee basis, so we made quite a dent in the principal. We’ve been paying the mortgage off since late 2013, so we’ve managed about twenty-five year’s worth of payments in under seven years so far. Once the mortgage is paid off, that should free up about 1.5K in monthly expenses. We’ll still have the rather high property taxes and insurance that are just part of living where we do. I sometimes wish they had a state income tax and would pass on some relief to property tax rates, but I doubt that will happen anytime soon. Our property taxes and insurance are the equivalent of many people’s rent.

The biggest concern with the reduced income is if we get hit by a large financial requirement like home/car repairs, major dental/medical expenses, etc. If we had a few of those in succession, we could quickly drain the remaining cash balance we have at present. If I’m able to return to work in the next year or so (hope), then the goal is to build the cash reserves up a bit more and then work on paying off the mortgage. If I’m able to sustain the work level I had previously, this should be manageable in about two years. Having the mortgage paid off will give us quite a bit more breathing room. At that point, any work that I did would be mostly for discretionary income purposes. I can see working one day a week indefinitely at that point.

So, I don’t know if I’ve adopted the retirement mindset just yet because I’m hoping to be able to return to work and if I’m being honest, I don’t want to completely cut out the ability to earn discretionary funds by virtue of the odd shift here and there.

The COVID-19 Languish and Other Updates (including DIY tedium, consider yourself warned)

This may be the biggest gap between posts in several years. As of my last updates, I was laid off at the end of March, and here we are four months later with no end in sight. This pandemic has shifted mindsets and people’s general philosophies of life and work, and I’ve been no exception. I’ve not been depressed or succumbed to a long term funk, but there has been a shift in purpose and a slowing of pace. I was already ambivalent about many things that other people obsess over, but these tendencies have coalesced further.

To the surprise of no one, the current administration has not only grievously mishandled the pandemic, but they’ve also arguably taken actions to make it worse for most Americans. The US has suffered the worst outcomes from this plague, currently with over 140,000 deaths and nearing four million confirmed cases. Multiple republican lead states tried to rush back into normal operations way too soon and are now seeing spikes in their numbers, notably my home of residence, Texas. Thankfully, the rich have continued to get richer in no small part at the hands of the republican senate and white house. I very naively thought that even they would still possess a shred of ethics and human sympathy given the international disaster, but their greed knows no bounds.

At work, they have nationally adopted a three-phase return to normal operations plan that is mostly based on delaying routine and non-life saving care until the numbers plateau and begin to decrease. It appeared our first efforts to lock down and distance were having a beneficial effect on the trends, but the rush back to “normal” has dealt some severe setbacks so the VA needle has gone back to zero at present. In a recent presentation, the director in Dallas predicted that we were only 1/8th of the way through the pandemic, meaning it would take two years to run its course. There has been some promising news about successful vaccine trials in the UK and elsewhere, so it remains to be seen if we may see a viable and available vaccine by year’s end. That being said, I can only expect our current executive branch will find a way to screw that up as well.

Right now I’d be happy to return to work in 2020, but it’s feeling more and more like it will be 2021 or even later. We’ve been trying to keep our heads above water financially, and so far we’re still holding on. Our cash reserves have dipped from their pre-layoff levels, but we’ve also had several unplanned (and not necessarily essential) expenditures. Among these were a new lawnmower, several new tools (cordless drill, oscillator, etc.), new bulb for the projector, new battery for the Highlander, and the single biggest expenditure - the Gandalf/Frodo masters collection statue I had put a big down payment on last year. I would never have made this purchase in our current situation, but it’s a very limited edition and I would have forfeited the down payment if I canceled. It’s rare enough that I know I can sell it for a tidy sum in the future, although I have no plans to do so.

The tool (and supplies) purchases were part of a DIY project to finally run ethernet to all the rooms upstairs as well as make a modest upgrade to my switching setup. The layoff has shifted a lot of my priorities and I’ve been spending more time on cooking and DIY projects. I’m still practicing guitar, drums, keys, and vocals although bass has been neglected for several months. I also lost the spark for writing, drawing, and Korean language study but I have plans to resume. My typical day has been wake-up/coffee/casual internet, walk the dogs, exercise, and then some combination of practice with maybe some cooking depending on the amount of leftovers available. This is generally followed by maybe some reading, video games, and then television/movies/youtube.

With every day being a blank canvas, I don’t typically push things too hard to completion knowing I’ll have plenty of time to finish them in the future. This has resulted in the ethernet project being strung out over several weeks, although this has partly been predicated by incremental purchases as I’ve realized I need additional items. Ultimately, I’d like to have all my various rooms wired for ethernet and able to access the home network for file sharing at the best possible speeds and security. I’m essentially already there for the critical rooms and I only need to install one more drop in the “Forge” as I’m now calling it. This is the combination drawing/craft table and guest bedroom. The ethernet drop will go in the wall behind the tv and is not a high priority at present. It’s more likely to become useful if I ever place an actual PC or Mac in that room.

I’ve set up a “server” (sans server at present) closet in the video room, along with all the camera supplies. Eventual plans include custom-built shelving along the walls and probably a server rack (and server). These are long-range and likely more dependent on whether I return to work, especially the server. In the immediate future I need to organize the clutter and implement some cable management. I’ve got the ONT cable run from the garage up through the drum room closet and into the attic, then across the attic to my server closet.

A single ethernet cable runs from there to the wireless router in the home theater. This serves the entire house for wireless internet. It feeds a cable that runs back to the old location in the master bedroom closet where a switch feeds drops to several downstairs locations. These came with the house and are unused at present because Aeyong only uses wireless (phone, iPad, MacBook), but I’m leaving them connected in case. Two cables come out of the switcher back up into the attic and feed drops in my control room and drum room, respectively. These were run after we moved in by milestone electric and my recent DIY forays revealed the piecemeal nature of their work.

The installer essentially just found the path of least resistance so he ran the ethernet drop for the drum room down the same hole as the electric wiring and I haven’t looked up close, but I’m guessing it’s the same for the control room. Thankfully this doesn’t seem to have negatively affected the performance, although I may move those drops slightly in the future, time and motivation allowing. I’ve done enough rerouting of cables in the attic that I now have a good idea of where everything enters and exits, so it’s a bit more straightforward, but still a huge pain in the ass. The basic message from my attic is stay out and don’t waste your golden years.

In the process of rerouting cables, I needed to drill down from the attic into walls in several locations including the garage, drum room/closet, and video room. It took a bit of rooting around to find the desired locations, so there was a fair amount of drywall sawing and top plate drilling. I learned in the process that the upstairs wall of the drum room is offset from downstairs by about 6-12 inches. This was discovered by drilling up through the wall of the garage into the floor of the drum room, which, as you may have guessed, was unintentional and highly undesirable. After more measuring and brainstorming, I ultimately decided the best route would be through the drum room closet, as it appeared to be directly above the garage wall where I wanted to come in, largely because that’s where ATT has their breakout box to convert the fiber to ethernet.

Because of these multiple attempts, drywall repair was needed in several places in the garage, drum room, and one small spot in the video room. I also needed to put some spray foam installation to seal those unintended holes in the drum room floor. The initial repairs have now been completed, and just yesterday I sanded the first coat of drywall mud that had been applied. I also decided to try and fix up the rat’s nest of cabling behind my home theater rack. This consists of a new wall plate for the speaker wire, coaxial (direct), HDMI for the projector as well as a small control module for the universal remote/projector. I started that process yesterday and I’m thinking I’m about halfway done. In a recurring theme, the installers of the speaker and ethernet cables went with the easiest possible solution, so I’ve got a metric crap-ton of cabling that was just haphazardly passed through a big opening in the wall.

I was able to install a four-port ethernet jack for the feed from the ATT modem as well as the feedback from the router that runs back to the old master closet switch. The other two ports are active but aren’t needed at present. The router has eight ports, so these have been enough to accommodate all the needs in the home theater proper. I was able to separate the speaker cabling so I will now have the lines from the speakers terminate behind the wall into the plate and then have a separate cable that runs from the plate to the receiver. It’s all connected by banana plugs on both sides. I hope my audio signals (not to mention all the other connections) don’t suffer any degradation due to these attempted upgrades. Worst case scenario, I can always re-run the cabling if necessary, but I really hope I don’t need to do that.

I’ve still got several steps left in this current project including a (hopefully) finish coat on the drywall, texture, and paint. I’ve still got a few small holes in the garage to patch, although they should be a breeze compared to what’s preceded them. I’m also considering adding an electrical outlet to the server closet, but I’m going to save that until all the low-voltage stuff is done and dusted.

Thirty Years Today

On this day thirty years ago, we were rushing around Seoul by cab getting papers stamped and swearing oaths, and at the end of it we were married. It was a strange experience, but part of the normal process when a Korean national and American got married while still in Seoul. We had an agent to assist with the paperwork and she escorted us around to all the various stops. I can’t remember where, maybe it was the Seoul version of the justice of the peace, but we finished a set of paperwork and had to ask “Are we married now?”, and she excitedly responded “Yes!” and we kissed and hugged in front of a lot of confused onlookers.

Not the most momentous of ceremonies, but I can say the success of our marriage is more important than any pomp or circumstance. We were told that 80% of all Korean-American marriages fail within two years and that the number just increases with time. I think the person quoting that statistic (my commander at the time if I recall correctly) was pulling it out of his ass, but it’s probably true that more than half fail over time, as that’s true of all marriages if I have my numbers (sourced from a similar entity) correct.

Our marriage has lasted because we complement each other perfectly. We talk about the most important things and we’re always there for each other. We’ve been through some rough times and we’re going through some again, but we always have each other’s backs and know we can depend on one another. All the hollywood and romance novel drivel is meaningless over time. We truly love each other and that’s shown in our day to day actions, not a bunch of ephemeral gestures. I mean, I have bought gifts, flowers, cards, etc. but all that stuff fades with time. Always being there for each other is what has held us together.

Fully in the COVID funk

Which is not as bad as actually having Coronavirus, I’ll readily admit. The combination of being laid off, existential angst, and uncertainty have cast a pall over the proceedings in the past few weeks. I haven’t been motivated to do any of my usual practicing, studying, or creative endeavors. It’s mostly been the basic daily tasks (exercising, household chores, walking/feeding the dogs) and then maybe a bit of cooking and otherwise passive activity like reading, watching television, or playing video games.

The reduction in work schedule hasn’t been the biggest adjustment because I was already only working part-time. It has been a challenge to accept being laid off indefinitely, however. Watching our money, it appears we’ll be able to do okay for a long time if not indefinitely, but this is assuming no large scale financial or other disasters are added to COVID-19 and being laid off. We’ve already experienced a few unplanned expenses, which is honestly fairly typical in the grand scheme. I had already decided to start mowing the lawn again after our service had jacked up the price for the third year in a row. This on top of the fact that I’m pretty sure they stiffed us for two weeks worth of service at the end of last year.

With my reduced schedule at work, it only made sense to start cutting the lawn again. It’s only about a 90-minute job and the additional sunlight and physical labor won’t hurt. As luck would have it, storing a lawnmower for over three years plays a bit of havoc on the engine and fuel system. The carburetor was stuck open, so the fuel immediately began to leak out after the fill-up. I replaced the carburetor and did a bit of cleaning up and managed to get it started. It was chugging a bit so I cleaned up the now very old spark plug and can’t say whether that helped or not. All that to say at best it sounded like an asthmatic hay fever victim with Coronavirus after attempting a marathon. It was huffing and puffing with even the sparsest grass and the plugging of the carburetor leak revealed a few additional leaks on the backside of the engine.

Assuming it was going to be a cascade of equipment failures leading to parts replacements yet never achieving a satisfactory end result, I made the command decision just to replace it with a new mower. I attempted to buy one at Home Depot but found they were social distancing customers and the queue looked like it might take 30-60 minutes just to get into the store, with no guarantee they’d have what I needed. Being that the lawn wasn’t yet at the critical stage of shagginess, I decided to look on Amazon and found an electric model by the same company as the chain saw I had purchased last year. I’ve been pretty impressed with the power the chain saw motor generates, so I was more willing to go against the lifelong convention of small gas engines on mowers. So, new lawnmower is inbound for Wednesdayish.

Present circumstances have conspired to diminish the significance of this week, which is our thirtieth wedding anniversary. I think I had mentioned a few posts back (in the journal maybe) that we had canceled our travel plans several weeks ago, just assuming that we’d either be on lockdown or that it would be the prudent decision to get out when refunds were still available. So, that out of the way I still wanted to mark the occasion, so I’m thinking I’ll bake a carrot cake. Aeyong always loves them and it’ll be something different to try out in the kitchen. I need to gather a few ingredients depending on which recipe I plan to follow.