2020 was a year

So much of the focus of this past year has been on the negative, overwhelmingly centered on the Coronavirus Pandemic and all of its effects. For me, the most unfortunate aspect was just how inadequate and irresponsible were the reactions of individuals, leaders, and governments. There was no escaping the impact that such a new and deadly virus was going to have on society, but the devastation could have been mitigated to a greater degree, and the loss of life, jobs, and social safety nets could have been greatly minimized.

An analysis of this fallout must include the myriad of consequences. I was, like many others, personally affected when I lost my primary means of income shortly after the pandemic made its full effect known in the US. Arguably the single most devastating acute change I’ve experienced in my adult life, at least from an economic standpoint. Thankfully, my choice to make the Army a career and the pension resulting from that became our primary safety net and kept us in good stead for the lean times to come. Even with this, it wasn’t permanently sustainable.

A result of the layoff (and ultimate termination) was a blank canvas upon which to fill each day. As I’ve discussed before, although I never succumbed to depression or an emotional breakdown, there was definitely a mild funk that persisted for several months. It ultimately was a lack of direction stemming from all the uncertainty. I long ago realized that I must have a target for which I’m aiming, whether it’s creative, financial, professional, etc. The loss of income put so many goals in doubt that it became difficult to focus my efforts.

I didn’t let it keep me from my core disciplines and I continued to practice guitar and drums. I can’t specifically recall what my typical days were like back then, although I started to spend more time playing video games and other sorts of passive activities as I’ve previously discussed. Prior to the pandemic I had renewed my efforts to learn writing, drawing, and studying the Korean language. These fell by the wayside for several months as I had problems finding the motivation to keep all these disciplines going.

Eventually, I think near late summer or early fall, the slow re-opening of medical care and society in general started to hint at better days to come. This slowly helped renew my desire to restart these pursuits and I’ve settled back into a routine encompassing all my disciplines - guitar, drums, keys, bass, vocals, writing, drawing, and studying Korean. I’m still trying to sort out the optimal battle rhythm since I only recently returned to work and that’s been a big shift from the previous eight months.

All this rambling to say that despite the negative consequences of last year, it hasn’t been all doom and gloom. The challenge of the virus was met with an unprecedented effort to develop a vaccine and in an achievement that I would compare to the Apollo Space Program for its audacity and technical wizardry, several companies developed not only viable, but highly effective versions of a vaccine, several of which were using mRna, a complete paradigm shift in vaccinations. Sadly, our current administration is screwing up the rollout, but I’m not sure anyone expected anything else.

The good news is that here in the US we elected a new president/vp and in a few weeks, we’ll usher in a new era and a return to normalcy, at least in the executive branch. Another positive change has been the demonstration that remote work and learning is not only viable, it’s likely a superior alternative to many traditional processes in business and education. Why should we make people drive day in and day out to an office or classroom when they could achieve the same goals and processes from their homes? There will always be industries and jobs that can’t be done remotely, but we’ve definitely shifted the focus more in the last year than we might have in ten years pre-pandemic.

The most important lesson I’ve learned is that we’re not really that far removed from being able to sustain our lifestyle without me working at all. I don’t plan on fully retiring anytime soon (if ever), but I know now that within a few years and having achieved a few economic milestones, we can sustain a fully retired lifestyle indefinitely. I’ll likely always want to work a little bit for discretionary income purposes, but now we have a better idea of how life would look with no additional income.

Reflecting on this, I’m grateful. I’m grateful for the life we’ve been able to carve out after many decades of hard work. We didn’t suffer or feel deprived in the least, and I know there are millions if not billions of people who had a much harder time of this last year, and in many cases have always had a harder time of it. The biggest burden on us was mild anxiety about our economic future and whether we’d be able to endure additional economic hardships beyond the loss of work. Thankfully, that was the worst of it as we managed to make it through without any big disasters.

I should also take the time to mention that we lost some of my all time most important musical influences this year, ironically not due to the pandemic but to other health issues, I think cancer in all three cases. Early this year in January we lost Neil Peart, arguably as big of an influence on me as any other musician, especially considering his lyrics and prose. Not long after, we lost the brilliant musician and composer, Lyle Mays, the longtime musical partner of Pat Metheny and an amazing artist in his own right. He brought so much joy and wonder to so many people over the years. Finally, in October the world of rock and guitar specifically lost a man who arguably had a bigger influence than any other in history, Eddie Van Halen. It’s impossible to calculate just how important and far reaching Eddie’s influence has been on rock guitar. Often cited for his revolutionary approach to tapping and soloing, it’s his rhythm, riffs, and songwriting that are probably the most important elements of his style. Losing these three greats was just another kick in the gut to add to the misery of this year.

Thankfully, the year ended on a high note as I finally was able to return to work, albeit for a different employer. The eventual dismissal from the VA, my employer for the last nine years, was handled pretty callously and lacking in respect from the leadership in my former clinic, but I suppose I was a bit naive in assuming the best about certain people. It’s in the past now. As part of that scenario, the work seems to have mostly shifted to the contractors, so that’s where I followed it and now find myself working for one of them. I never predicted anything as universally devastating as a pandemic, but my belief that there would always be work for disability examiners has been proven true thus far.

My goals for this year are largely consistent with what they’ve always been. I want to continue improving my craft at the various disciplines, ultimately in the service of storytelling in various mediums. I am hoping in the near term to finally record and submit that audition for the guitar program at Berklee and hopefully begin a dual major track starting with the spring semester in a few months. I’ll have to adapt my battle rhythm yet again, but I suppose that’s always going to be a more fluid aspect of my daily efforts.

I hope this year has helped distill what’s most important in everyone’s lives, I think it has in mine.