HighCastle of Geek

​A blog/journal about my life and the stuff I like. Popular subjects include music, guitars, gear, books, movies, video games, technology, humor.

Filtering by Category: Musicianship

Spring Has Sprung

In Texas, at least. After a slow start, it appears all of our trees, most of our shrubs and the lawn are making a full recovery from Snowmageddon ‘21. Our biggest tree, the one out front which was planted when they built the house, was probably the slowest to sprout buds. For awhile, I had serious concerns that it didn’t make it through the four day hard freeze back in February. Thankfully, it finally began to display some buds and eventually a full complement of leaves to get that good ‘ole photosynthesis jam going. By current estimates, it’s mainly some potted plants that appear to have met their demise. We have a few shrubs that look dead to me, but Aeyong is optimistic that by cutting them down to their base we’ll encourage some new growth from the roots. We’ll see. If they don’t recover, shrubs are easy enough to replace.

In that horticultural vein, I’ve taken a bit more interest in getting the yard in good trim. I apologize, that wasn’t intended as a pun, but now it is, so there. You’re welcome. We haven’t really gone to any great lengths with our yard, other than regular mowing and seasonal fertilization and occasional seeding. The front has remained pretty thick and healthy, but the backyard has some bare patches, including one large swath of dirt in the back corner. I’m going to try de-thatching and scarifying with, you guessed it, our new de-thatcher/scarifier. Hopefully it will clear up a lot of dead grass and leaves and open up the soil to allow more root growth and nutrient/water transfer where it’s needed. Along with that, I’ve got a big bag of Humic DG which is supposed to enhance nutrient absorption and improve soil structure. It’s a bunch of small spherical granules that disperse into the soil, some of which immediately break down into humic and fulvic acid, combining with essential nutrients and persisting in the soil to allow plant absorption for extended periods of time. The humate portion remains even longer, thereby further extending that nutrient cycle.

I’ve seen a few customer testimonials and just Humic DG alone can make a big difference to yards, plants, and larger agricultural applications. My plan is to de-thatch, scarify, mow up the detritus (I have so few opportunities to use that word, so back off), and then lay down probably half the 40 pound bag of Humic. I’ll be seeding and fertilizing in the near future, but I do want to give the yard a little time to recover so I’ll probably wait a few days to a week to do that. Not everyone recommends seeding in the spring, but our bare patches definitely need it. I probably need to get some peat moss to mix with the seed. Although it probably sounds like I’ve gone all 4H (when I was in school it was all farm kids, I’m probably showing my age), but I really just want a nice green lawn that I can maintain. I don’t want to spend a great deal of additional time keeping it in shape. Hopefully some well timed interventions will get it ready for summer.

In other developments, I got my second COVID vaccination last Wednesday, and the side effects were slightly worse, I suppose. The arm soreness was about the same, but I think I felt some more systemic effects this time. It’s a bit hard to tell because the day of the vaccination I also ran (a modified attempt at resumption that was triggered by the broken elliptical) and scalped the lawn. Scalping the lawn (and bagging the clippings) is something that’s useful to do 1-2 times per year based on the advice I’ve seen. It’s somewhat like de-thatching, I suppose. In my yard’s case, it takes considerably more effort to push the mower across high spots in the ground. All that to say, the additional fatigue I felt the day after was probably a combination of the vaccination and the physical efforts of the day before. I also woke up around midnight feeling febrile, but didn’t bother checking my temperature. I just took a gram of Tylenol every six hours for the first day or so and things slowly got better. As I’ve said, eminently better than getting sick with COVID.

Things at work are going well. I’ve worked in the new location the last two weekends, and it’s a nice setting. Essentially the same drive as before with the last two miles being on surface streets. VES has been keeping me gainfully scheduled, one weekend at a time. My no-show rate has dropped a bit, down to only 15% of the last two weekends. I’ve been averaging about $2500 per weekend, which is okay. I’ve been hoping to maintain closer to $3K per weekend, for a monthly total of $12K. Based on how they’ve been filling my schedule (partially) and the no-show rate, I’m not sure that’s achievable with only a two day workweek. At least it’s adequate for our financial goals of paying the house off slightly faster and maintaining a discretionary income. I only want to work enough for those two criteria, as I really value my free time.

Back to homefront matters, Aeyong is recovering fairly well. She had her cast removed the week before last, and she’s jumped back in to her normal routine. Maybe a bit too hard because she’s got some wrist swelling today and will need to rest a bit. She’s been catching up on several things she wanted to accomplish including trimming and bathing all the girls. She also has been out in the yard working, and this weekend she decided to help me out by dusting and cleaning the bathrooms upstairs. That was a nice surprise because it had been nagging me for several weeks and I had been too busy with regular work and work around the house. Still, she’s probably paying for the uptick in activity right now.

I’ve been trying to improve the garage layout the last few weeks to coincide with efforts in the yard. I installed some overhead storage shelves and moved the treadmill and elliptical all the way back against the wall. Not a huge change, but the added floor space has been nice. We took the vertical shelves that were previously on the back wall and moved them into the laundry room, giving us some more storage space in there. We had a little half shelf in the laundry room before, and now that has moved to the garage as a rolling storage cart for our air compressor and shop vac. I’ll eventually install another identical set of overhead shelves in the other garage slot and hopefully free up another section of the floor. Eventually I want to have a rolling workbench with some good working tools - table saw, miter saw, router, and maybe a few other tools depending on how things develop. I’m going to try to ease into woodworking, but I already have all sorts of ideas for projects. I don’t know if it’s just a natural part of aging, or a genetic thing I get from my father. He was definitely a DIYer at his core. Nature, nurture, or perhaps a bit of both?

After all this fairly mundane material, I haven’t stopped pursuing my core disciplines, although there have been more days “off” when I was working at VES or had my time manhandled by DIY, medical, etc. issues. I finished a Premiere Pro course, and I’ve just started a Photoshop course. I also signed up for a basic piano course, mostly to cover some fundamentals that I know I’ve been lacking. I’ve really only slowly learned songs and then just spent my time practicing them, but I haven’t spent any considerable time at learning scales, improvisation and some of the basic skill set I need if I want to advance further. The same could be said for my other disciplines as well. I’m alternating my drumming practice between Mike Michalkow’s course and trying to learn Xanadu for the eventual Rush AFTK deep dive video. Check back next year, probably. Then there’s also bass, guitar, singing, drawing, writing, learning to speak/read/write Korean. Not to mention maintaining my CMEs for work. The days are just packed, and that’s how I like it.

sappenin'?

I’m back to the daily dull drudgery of a working stiff. These two-day workweeks are so brutal, I decided to take two weeks off for the holidays. Good thing the clinic is closed for the same time period or they might have missed me. Yuks aside, the first two work weekends are down and things went pretty smoothly. I’m getting back into the swing of things and figuring out what VES expects out of these exams. The only thing remaining is to get them to start increasing my appointment slots so I can see these small cases every 30 minutes instead of the hour slots they have scheduled to this point.

At the current rate I’m making about $1K a weekend which is a big improvement over nothing at all, but I should be able to manage that in one day if they increase those slots. Four weekends a month should allow me to gross ~ $8K and net ~ $5-6K after I set the predicted tax deductions aside. It’s nice just to be getting back into a regular workflow and having the income that allows us not to sweat the small stuff like we’ve been doing during the layoff. No big expenditures thus far, but I’ve let myself buy some books and games without losing sleep over it.

In other events, the FDA has now approved two COVID vaccines, first from Pfizer and just recently from Moderna. This rollout is going to take months to get to everyone and I have no good prediction as to when Aeyoung and I will get our shots. I imagine I’ll have an earlier opportunity through the VA, but she’ll have to wait until our PCM offers the vaccination. I’m betting it’ll be several months at the earliest. There have been some shifty roll out orders from the white house, and no good explanation why they aren’t requesting the maximum amount. I know Pfizer has stated they have plenty of vaccine on hand waiting for requisition from the federal government but no explanation why they aren’t maxing out the orders. These jackholes are going to sow discord and chaos for every single minute they have remaining.

On that note, the Supreme Court has rejected the legal challenge from multiple states (including Texas, for which I take no blame) to overturn the election results. Cheeto Mussolini is still crying foul and will most likely do so for the rest of his days in office and on this planet. The electoral college did its job and elected based on the actual valid election results, so every step of the way has confirmed Biden and Harris as the President and Vice President elects. It’s just a waiting game at this point and the hope that any additional damage by the current administration can be minimized.

I’m starting to settle in to my new weekflow (that’s a word now, spellcheck), with focus on my disciplines during the regular weekdays and a relaxed schedule on the weekend/workdays. On those days I generally get in some exercise and Korean study, maybe some writing practice/study. So far I haven’t been very motivated to practice or do anything productive after my shifts, but I think I’ll eventually want to squeeze in some guitar or other discipline practice. I’ve managed that in the past.

It's been a bit...

…since the last update and a few things have changed. I’ve resumed pursuit of my seven (eight?) disciplines, including a resumption of writing and drawing. I’ve started to settle into a six day workweek so to speak. I practice drums, vocals, acoustic guitar, drawing and writing on M-W-F, and on T-Th-Sa I practice drums, keys, elec guitar, bass, drawing, and writing. I also started studying Korean again but decided to go back to the very beginning of the Pimsleur lessons. I do this in conjunction with my elliptical workouts, which are every day at present. (goldarned knee doncha know) I consider Sunday my day off, although I tend to get in some more writing and drawing that day as well. It’s open for me to completely fuck off if I want to.

Getting back into writing has been good so far, although I’ve yet to really engage in any “proper” writing. It’s been comprised of administrative and transcription tasks. I finally got all the bookmarked (booktaped?) notes from Judith Flander’s Victorian Home book, including several additional pages of notes that seemed useful as I went through it. I need to do that for Life in a Medieval Town as well. In the process, it became more apparent that my Scrivener organization system was lacking. I started the process today of trying to categorize research and story components into a more understandable and efficient system.

Ideas keep coming for the story and I continue to follow the practice of just dictating these into my notes app on the phone, but now I need to start filing these ideas in the appropriate areas and then doing the actual follow up work, whether it’s crafting a scene, conducting more research, etc. I feel like I already have the bones of a compelling story, but the real work still lies ahead. I plan to approach this methodically with concurrent study in my various writing courses as well as reading both nonfiction and fiction that will support the work. I’m planning on trying Brian Lee Durfee’s approach of choosing several books by authors whose style I want to at least partially draw from in the work. His systematic analysis of their techniques is an interesting approach, and although I’m not sure how well it will work for me, my analytical brain finds favor with it. I’ll be taking a look at their typical chapter layouts, dialogue length and positioning within a page/chapter, character introductions, exposition, etc.

I haven’t decided on the authors yet, although I’m likely to pick two of his - Robert Jordan and George R.R. Martin. I want to pick at least one Victorian-era novel, whether Brontë, Dickens, Doyle, etc. I also want to pick at least one of the authors whose humor I’ve enjoyed - Harry Harrison’s Stainless Steel Rat, Douglas Adams, Scott Lynch, Terry Pratchett, etc. I wouldn’t want humor to overpower the tone, but I definitely love the stories that include at least a dash of levity.

And in today’s “critical for world peace” update, I managed to snag a pre-order for the new Xbox Series X console. Akin to the oh so pleasurable concert ticket buying experience, I bounced around multiple websites across multiple devices and had a false start on my phone where I got to address confirmation only to be told they couldn’t ship to my country (US). Thankfully, that incomplete order remained in my shopping cart on the MS store, and I was able to complete the transaction on my desktop about thirty minutes into the pre-sale. Based on early comments online, there are a lot of dissatisfied customers unable to get through, although as per usual, this doesn’t necessarily reflect a representative sample of customers.

After MS announced their purchase of ZeniMax Media (including Bethesda, id, and several others) I was planning on trying to buy MS’s subscription plan where you get the console and the game pass for $35 a month over two years. With the addition of Bethesda (Elder Scrolls, Fallout), id (Doom), and the others, that means several more of my favorite games would be available. As it is, I’ll probably wait until I’ve finally cleared out that games backlog before I consider subscribing. My two most anticipated games for the near future (Baldur’s Gate 3, Cyberpunk 2077) won’t be available on all access anytime soon regardless. I assume BG is PC exclusive at least at first and that would be my preferred version, CP might actually be more enjoyable in the home theater. I definitely enjoyed Witcher 3 in that manner.

Figuring out the new norm

I’m not sure there’s ever going to be a “norm” that will last for a significant amount of time, probably moreso from external factors than internal. I finally started to dabble back in writing again starting yesterday. It took me a bit to remember where I was at in the process. One issue is that I was a bit more active in the Joyce Carol Oates’ master class on short stories through MasterClass.com and because I didn’t renew my membership, that class is temporarily unavailable. I think I’ve decided to go back to the beginning of the James Hynes course on Audible and see where it goes from there. I have several writing courses that I’ve acquired and yet to complete. The past two days I’ve spent most of my time slowly transcribing the notes I had made in the Judith Flanders book on the Victorian Home. I still have a ways to go on that task.

I’ve approached drawing sort of the same way, although I haven’t gone back to the beginning. I think I need to pick one course of instruction and follow it through until the end. My plan is to do that with writing as well, although I tend to sprinkle in some work on my novel in progress. The writing courses involve a lot of practical exercises, so when it makes sense I try to write something that may be of use in the novel.

I still haven’t resumed playing bass, and I suppose that’s the final piece of the puzzle. Initially, there was probably some of that COVID funk that was reducing my motivation to practice, but it’s persisted at least partially from a desire to avoid further repetitive strain injuries. One nice recent change is that I’ve had less of the nagging elbow issues as in the past, but I’m still practicing guitar and drums as much as I ever have. I don’t know if it’s just that these issues have needed this much time to mostly heal, or maybe a combination of other factors that I wasn’t considering, namely how I typed at work. I never thought it was much of an issue, but I was noticing some of the symptoms with prolonged reports when I was standing with my elbows bent at 90 degrees. Not sure, I suppose I’ll see when I get back to work.

All that to say I need to get back to practicing some bass. I’m not sure which day is best, maybe the electric guitar day. The only issue there is that I also practice piano that day, so maybe I need to practice bass on my acoustic guitar day when I also practice vocals and drums. I may give it a run today and see how I feel.

Back to the Infrequent...

…updates I suppose. Nothing monumental has happened in the past month. There has been slow progress on the work front. I’m not sure if it was within the last month that the director sent an email stating that VANTHCS would return to full operations with incremental steps for routine face to face encounters with a planned 100% restoration of services by October 6th. I’m not tracking the play by play, but it seems they’re on schedule at this point.

All that said, that doesn’t mean fee-basis will be needed in C&P in that same timeframe. Our department chief and program analyst had sent emails to the FTEs notifying them that face to face examinations would resume so they would be back in the clinic full time in the upcoming weeks. I responded to this email saying I knew that didn’t mean fee basis would be needed for quite a long time and they essentially confirmed this and expressed appreciation for my patience.

The unknown factors here are whether they will be able to stick to the plan and how quickly there will be a resumption of the normal flow of exam requests from VBA. Until they start getting a normal flow that exceeds the FTEs capability, it’s not likely we’ll see any request for fee-basis exams. My feeling for a long time (and probably expressed here previously) was the end of the year at best, and Dr. Potu (Chief of Ambulatory Care) had already expressed this timeframe as well. If anything, I could see them asking us to help out during the holidays as there’s always a shortage of providers since everyone wants to go on vacation, although it’s hard to say how that will be affected by COVID. If travel remains sketchy, those leave requests may drop off quite a bit.

I still think it will be well into next year before we can expect a resumption of full activities and fee basis numbers reaching anything near where they were at their peak. I hope I’m wrong, and I don’t necessarily need the desired workload to make a difference in our budget. One good day a month would be enough to put our monthly ledger in the black, and two days would make things comfortable. This wouldn’t facilitate the faster mortgage payoff schedule, but at least it would allow us to slowly accrue some cash reserves and give us some breathing room. My hope is we can get back at least to my normal salary limit, which would allow faster mortgage payoff, although it might take 2-3 years instead of the planned 12 months we were previously on track to achieve.

In other developments, I’ve started studying Korean and drawing again in the past week. I decided to go back to the beginning in Korean, and I’m still trying to figure out my battle rhythm with drawing. I had been bouncing around several different instruction programs and I’m starting to think I need to pick one and just stick with it through completion before moving on to the next thing. I have multiple training programs I plan to complete as I go along. Notice I didn’t mention writing. I still plan to start writing again, I’m just looking for the right window and motivation.

Although it’s incremental and often hard to quantify, I feel there has been progress in my musicianship, mainly drums, guitar, and keys. The downpicking drill based on Tommy Emmanuel’s fast run from Endless Road is definitely paying off, albeit slowly. Drumming has felt slower, but my added focus on kick pedal is slowly reaping rewards. I started alternating drill days with song days where I just play songs so I can apply some of these techniques, and I think that’s helping. Many of the drills I practice are isolated and don’t prepare you for the application within a song where all the other limbs are involved.

I need to start practicing bass again and my vocal drills have been functional but not really stretching my capabilities and I need to start singing some actual songs again. I’m not necessarily happy there was a drop off in some disciplines in light of the mild COVID funk, but I can understand it, and at least I kept applying my most primary disciplines. Not to mention, that game backlog has continued to shrink, so there’s that.

I just finished Divinity Original Sin 2 yesterday, and I’ll probably finish off Horizon Zero Dawn next and then I’ve got to decide what to tackle after that. I’m thinking Demon Souls although I realized today I might not be able to play that or Fallout 3 on my PS4, at least using the disc-based versions I own. I think there are versions if you have a subscription to Playstation Now, so I might look into that option.

Life is pretty good, all things considered. I’m not happy losing a significant chunk of earning potential, but we’ve managed to stay afloat for several months and with a few more adjustments to the discretionary expenses we could probably do it indefinitely. I’ve gotten into more cooking with the time off but the downside is that my waistline has grown with my cooking skills. It doesn’t help that I’m having a flare-up with my right knee again and I’m unable to run.

To add insult to injury, I had been trying to reintroduce push-ups and situps to my regimen so I could recover some muscle mass and stave off another ravage of aging. As luck would have it, I strained something in my lower abdomen and I’m hoping it’s just a delicate atrophied muscle and not a hernia waiting to happen. Location wise it could totally be an inguinal hernia. I’m not sure but I think it’s the same side in which I had hernia surgery as an infant and I doubt they used mesh back then. I’m hoping it’s just a muscle strain and I can resume activity in the coming weeks. One of the greatest frustrations of aging (besides becoming progressively more gray and squishy) is that your body starts to betray you and things that you are mentally and psychologically ready to do become difficult to impossible due to injury and declining function. Still, it could be a lot worse.

Speaking of, I’m essentially done with social media. After shutting down FB completely (two times now, most recently in June) I went ahead and pulled the trigger on twitter and Instagram as well. This was another decision based on the sum total effect of interaction and they both are responsible for bringing a lot of negativity that I can’t control. My political leanings are progressive and liberal and I’ll continue to support those candidates and causes, but I just can’t tolerate the day to day social media drama any longer. Every day is a new deplorable act, quite often by the nominal leader of the country and it’s easy to despair. I’m not sure the US as a country can recover from the damage it has sustained (and not just in the past four years), and although I make my best efforts to contribute, there seems to be no shortage of people who are willfully ignorant, obtuse, and have no regard or empathy for their fellow human beings. I hope we can overcome the hatred, greed, and racism running rife at present, but I have my doubts. I don’t endorse much that the catholic church says, but they got the seven deadly sins right.

A Decent Week

Among the “highlights” - had my VA PIV card renewed for the fourth time, so I’m good for another three years, and this marks my nine-year anniversary (albeit a month early) with VANTHCS. Ironic that I mark the occasion while being laid off at present. I’m remaining optimistic that I’ll eventually be able to return to work and continue pushing forward to our midterm financial goals and then settle into what will hopefully be the indefinite future work schedule of one to two days a week for a total of four to eight days a month. After the mortgage is paid off, this should keep us comfortably in the black with a generous discretionary income.

Yesterday marked my fifty-third trip around the sun, shared with a few musical heroes including Kate Bush and Geddy Lee the day before. I cooked some enchiladas that turned out better than the first attempt last week. I decided to forego homemade tortillas and enchilada sauce this time, and used steak meat instead of pork. I was much more satisfied with the result. Some sprinkled avocado and lettuce on top helped complete the effect. The tortillas and enchilada sauce are easy to make, but they add extra time and I honestly didn’t think the recipe suffered using the premade. Later today I’m going to make a belated birthday cake, trying my hand at red velvet this time.

My birthday was one of those mornings where I had gone to bed early and then awoke around 2 am, unable to get back to sleep, and ultimately surrendered and got up. I decided to make some effective use of my time by attempting the texturing step of my very drawn out drywall repair project. Not a resounding success because I don’t think the pattern I laid down was exactly right for the existing knockdown texture from the home builder. It looks better than smooth drywall mud, although there were a few spots where I did get some flat effects that I didn’t want. Being that the repairs are on the garage wall and the back corner/closet of my drum room, I’m probably going to accept them as is and paint over them.

The result will not be professional to the extent that you can’t tell there was every a patch there, but I think they’ll fly for now. We’re not planning on ever selling the house now, so the only people it would bother would be me and Aeyong. She hasn’t uttered a word so far, so I’m thinking she won’t really care. I’ll get her feedback once it’s done. If she absolutely hates it I might try a bottle of the spray-on texture, which I think might make the process a bit easier.

I have several more DIY projects in mind, including a few more steps in the whole house network project, and then I’ve got some ideas to improve our storage and tool organization in the garage. This will be time and bank balance dependent. Much later on and contingent on a return to work I have plans for expanding the home theater to Dolby Atmos (arguably overkill, but still), making some further upgrades to the home network including a proper server, power over ethernet, and upgrading to a 10gigabit switcher. None of this is essential, and definitely in the discretionary category.

I should probably also mention that during this increased period of DIY activity, I’ve taken an unplanned break from practicing. It started based on although the clutter and mess in the drum room but continued based on the shift of my daily energies to multiple tasks that ultimately sapped the energy I desire to effectively practice. It’s only temporary, and after having taken breaks in the past (mostly to heal from repetitive strain issues), I know that there’s a value in stepping away for a bit. Once I get this current DIY project behind me, I’ll get back into my normal schedule. I’m close at present, but there’s still some painting, finishing touches, and decluttering ahead.

Laid off

I got the news via email (at 3 AM, which is nice) that Fee-Basis are being laid off by Ambulatory Care/C&P for the next 2-3 months or until C&P resumes normal operations. They are suspending any in-person exam requests and our outgoing program analyst (Curray) said he wasn’t sure they would have enough work for the FTEs (full-time equivalent) as well. While I can’t disagree with the logic, it came a bit faster and harsher than expected.

We’d already been game-planning the possibility, so it doesn’t come as a complete shock, but again, it was a bit sudden. Right now I’m trying to decide how I’m going to approach this. I sent out a feeler to Holly Gallegos (fellow Fee Basis and VES examiner) to see if she had an updated point of contact with VES. I have a feeling they are going to be scaling back if not suspending operations as well because I assume conducting exams would open them up to some liability issues. I’m curious if VBA is triggering the change to what they call ACE (acceptable clinical evidence), meaning exams and opinions that can be conducted remotely. That may be the case. This means that there’s probably going to be a huge backlog again in the future when the VA resumes normal operations.

I’m not sure, but it’s possible we can survive on my pension income alone, so we’ll just ride the storm out for as long as needed. We’ll have a better idea in the next couple of months about what’s happening with our cash flow. I’m debating about resuming a full-time schedule with Berklee, but I honestly would rather change my major to dual Guitar/Music Production before taking any more classes. I’ve got to decide on an audition and just submit it. Ironically, I’ve been laying off the guitar for several days with the COVID doldrums, so this may be the spark I need to get my playing back into shape. I hope my elbows are on board for this as well.

This was always the big risk/worst-case scenario when I decided to switch to Fee-Basis three years ago. I can’t really complain because I’ve been able to earn an additional three year’s salary above what I would have earned as an FTE, not to mention I’ve been working three days a week at most. It’s a strange feeling to think I’m not going to be scheduled to work anywhere for the indefinite future. COVID-19 is proving to be this generation’s single greatest cultural, economic, historical, etc. event. The world is already significantly different and I don’t see things ever going back to where they were before.

I’m glad we had paid so much down on the house, although the argument could be made that a bigger emergency fund would have served us better in the short term. We crossed under $100K a few payments ago, so switching to the minimum payment will stretch out our payoff date to six years, down from our plan of one year. We have a decent checking balance at present, so I’ll just watch what happens to our balance over the next few months. Given our normal monthly necessary (emphasis on necessary) expenditures, we may break even or even accrue income.

I’ve started canceling all the non-essential subscriptions, mainly to some music programs like Steven Slate and East-West Composer Cloud. I may leave others as-is for now, just to see what happens with our bank balances. We shouldn’t need to cut off any vital services like phone, internet, television. We should have enough money to cover those as well as groceries. We do have to think about those big financial outlays like the various insurance bills - medical, home/auto. We should be able to cover those, but they are big single time expenditures different than monthly maintenance.

I think there may be some silver linings to these clouds, although difficult to see at present.