Thirty Years Today

On this day thirty years ago, we were rushing around Seoul by cab getting papers stamped and swearing oaths, and at the end of it we were married. It was a strange experience, but part of the normal process when a Korean national and American got married while still in Seoul. We had an agent to assist with the paperwork and she escorted us around to all the various stops. I can’t remember where, maybe it was the Seoul version of the justice of the peace, but we finished a set of paperwork and had to ask “Are we married now?”, and she excitedly responded “Yes!” and we kissed and hugged in front of a lot of confused onlookers.

Not the most momentous of ceremonies, but I can say the success of our marriage is more important than any pomp or circumstance. We were told that 80% of all Korean-American marriages fail within two years and that the number just increases with time. I think the person quoting that statistic (my commander at the time if I recall correctly) was pulling it out of his ass, but it’s probably true that more than half fail over time, as that’s true of all marriages if I have my numbers (sourced from a similar entity) correct.

Our marriage has lasted because we complement each other perfectly. We talk about the most important things and we’re always there for each other. We’ve been through some rough times and we’re going through some again, but we always have each other’s backs and know we can depend on one another. All the hollywood and romance novel drivel is meaningless over time. We truly love each other and that’s shown in our day to day actions, not a bunch of ephemeral gestures. I mean, I have bought gifts, flowers, cards, etc. but all that stuff fades with time. Always being there for each other is what has held us together.